Just 'Aint Magpie Season

LPFC 21's played efficiently enough to overcome a boisterous Miranda Magpies side 2-0 on a temperate Saturday afternoon. Goals from Alex Poulos and Matthew Phipps were sufficient to hand Pilli a smash'n'grab three points.

Pilli commenced the game lacking flambouyant winger Fonseca and 'keeper Will Clayden due to an ankle and knee injury, respectively. Not-yet fully-recovered left back Paul Clark started on the bench as Pilli looked to keep their place in the top four, and depending on other results, move up the ladder.

Initially, both teams played a game of football as open as that of the legs of most of Kurtis' one-night stands - infact, the writer of this blog would even go as far to say that that sort of openess is not comparable to anything whatsoever.

Miranda gradually slipped into their groove and at times it was obvious who the home team was, with the Magpies playing some great first-touch football - which was probably encouraged by former player Claydens cheers for his old club.

It seemed everytime Pilli made an advance on Magpie territory they would be easily dispossessed and countered upon heavily with a three-man Miranda strikeforce who often lacked the finish, hence not testing Matthew Burg a.k.a. Burgster, Burger Bum, BB King, Burgy Wurgy, B-Dog, Northrop Grumman B-2 Spirit and/or Robert Green - in goals.

While Miranda appeared the better side and had Pilli on the back foot more often than not, it was the team with the green and gold jersey that struck first - blowing the game as wide open as...you get it. A pin point clearance from Michael Treacy looped over the heads of Magpie defenders and a speedy Alex Poulos a.k.a. P-Diddy, P-Money and/or Alexisonfire - latched on to the ball and either watched it roll in while shielding opposition players or took a weak shot to send it into the net. We will never know since Poulos was not on Facebook at the time of writing.

Pilli's opening goal seemed to shock the Magpies from the tree-tops as they struggled to re-eneter their groove. Pilli's attacks appeared slightly more dangerous thanks to some refined passing from maestro Jacob Healey a.k.a. Jacorbor (that really was a nickname for a while), Jay Sean, JJ Snacks, Gay Jay and/or Mr. Ugly. Both teams finished the halves tied up technically, yet Pilli boasted the only goal of the period.

After watching their injured 'keeper Will Clayden being assaulted by a unnamed lebanese man with a tub of hummus and excessive body hair during an inspirational half-time speech, Plli players took to the field.

The second period played out much like the first, with Miranda continuing their fast-paced football - though they were often halting with a superb defensive showing from Pilli right-back Jackson Versitano a.k.a. Vagina (once again that was an actual nickname), Versace, JV Financial Group and/or Verso. On a specific occassion Vagina intervened with a perfectly timed tackle to save Burg from having to deal with a one-on-one situation.

Remarkably, following an almost exact blue-print of the first half, Pilli sunk Magpie hearts with a second goal 10 minutes from time. A sparky Matthew Phipps a.k.a. these nicknames aren't funny anymore, took the goal-scoring opportunity as soon as it presented itself - like he has done many times before this season. An angled corner/cross flew in from Magpies' right only for it to be knocked around wildly in the 6-yard box before falling to an eager Phipps who snuck it home.

As the clock wound down Pilli held firm to deny Miranda any chance of swooping in for a late comeback. Incase you missed that pun read the previous sentence. Yeh I'm good and you know it.

Amazingly, the win leaves Pilli 4th on goal difference - meaning Poulos better score more goals or I will rip into him so much more in future blogs.