LPFC U21's have shared the spoils with a 9.5-man Menai Hawks 2 side after a 1-1 draw on a fine (the weather at least) afternoon. A level-headed penalty from Squeak Psarras handed Pilli the lead throughout most the match until Menai pulled one back to grab a thoroughly undeserved point and essentially end Pilli's chances of a top two finish. Pilli defender Jackson Versitano watched on from the stands - recovering from a groin injury.
Menai began the game fielding 9 players - reminiscent of the last fixture between the two where Pilli scraped through a 2-1 win in a match that lacked as much intensity as a Rafa Benitez goal celebration. Thus, a tedious atmosphere lurked in the squad who nonetheless were determined to make the most of their two-man advantage.
As expected, Pilli came out with guns (namely Damo's) blazing. The Caringbah-siders, Caringbanians or whatever other suffix can be attached to the word 'Caringbah' to specify a locale, passed the ball around the park beautifully and appeared to be succeeding in their mission. A number of times the ball was switched flanks by the back line (aka black line), a sight which has not been seen in as long a time as Adam Kwok, Matt Frost and Matt Borger. If a stats team had been present and the game broadcast on television, I'm sure a little pop-up would have appeared with a 90% possession stat in favour of Pilli. Each and every time the ball landed before a Hawks' player it would would be launched into row-Z (the various of trees surrounding the park).
As time wore on the same trend continued and Pilli became increasingly fustrated with Menai's tactical game. When the half-time whistle blew and the game still scoreless it was time for Pilli to recieve an inspired dose of citrus...oh and a team talk.
Re-energised and with that f**king orange fibre stuck in our teeth, Pilli vowed to not let the fustration creep in to their game. Also notable was the fact that Menai gained a player during the half.
Once again Pilli dominated proceedings as much the women in those fem-dom videos Clayden always trys to get me to watch (do not google it). Passing movement were slick in the midfield, with the flanks often supporting passmaster Healey well, who I might add has been affectionately been given the nickname 'Yellow Boots' by his opposition. If we can turn it into 'Yootsie' or something cute then I'm sure that would please him too. No? Ok, dw bout it!
It was not until mid-way through the second period when Pilli thrust themsleves ;) onto the score sheet. An early centre from Pilli leprochaun Michael Treacy resulted in an akward bounce in the penalty box for Menai defender and Thierry Henry fanatic 'Johnny' - who clearly attempted to control the ball with his arm, which for those who aren't fimiliar with the beautiful game - is considered a handball. The resulting penalty was finely tucked away by Pilli winger Squeak Psarras.
With Pilli now leading, Menai slowly attempted to work their way back into the game - often unsuccessfully, probably due to the two er...big-boned members of their squad...a.k.a the fat sh*t who told me to man-up when I got elbowed in the eye. Yeh you heard me...you wanna pizza me?
As the game wound down Pilli still were searching for another goal, a fatal tactical mistake. As luck would have it, Menai snatched a goal with literally the last kick of the game - with low-driven shot from outside the box. No wait. I was too nice there. Let me start again. WTF defence/centre midfield? Anyways, I considered asking Will to write something here but didn't want to get banned for overuse of profanity...and postage of innappropriate videos.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Pilli Plunge Off Ridge
LPFC U21's suffered a controversial 3-1 defeat at the hands of a ruthless Barden Ridge 2 side and also, as many could argue - the referee. The loss is Pilli's first defeat in a substantial of games - clearly a statistic I cannot be bothered specifying because I just cbf looking back and counting. A late consolation from Pilli virtuoso Matthew Phipps minimised the humiliating sight of a 3-0 scoreline.
Pre-match talk primarily consisted and focused on the return of 'keeper William Clayden who had been out for a period as lengthy as a coloured mans' genitalia a.k.a. 3 months. The shot stopper had only managed a cluster of games early on in the season before f**king up his knee in training god knows how - and I'm not even religious. On the oppposite end of the spectrum, both Fonseca and Costa were absent due to illness and work, respectively.
The match began rather placidly and chances for both teams were limited to longe range efforts. As the half progressed, Ridge gradually eased into the game and began disrupting Pilli's play using pure brute force (guys, insert flashback of alien Halo villain). Ridges' tactics teetered on the edge of controversy as foul after foul was delivered to a significantly physically inferior but skillfully superior Pilli side - did someone say tongue twister?! No. Because I just re-read it and found it is actually pretty easy to say quickly. Now you just re-read it. Hehe.
The referee's reluctance to show Ridge players a yellow card was highlighted in a brutal clash between Phipps and probably that Lebo kent (not being racist, his nickname was Lebo, so chill the f**k out saadi - I love kebabs...and baclava <<<<--so good). Phipps, who had already passed the ball to a teammate was left crumpled when an opposition player swept him of his feet with a daft late tackle- both players clashing heads. Pilli's protests almost drowned out the vuvulzela's! . With Ridges' physical tactics now obvious it would be fair to say that they won almost every single aerial ball and hence controlled the game as much as Mel Gibson does women. Except we don't dress provocatively. The half rounded up in heartstopping fashion as Pilli 'keeper Clayden came off his line superbly in a one-on-one situation to deflect the ball around the corner and keep the score level. The second period began. And we let a goal in within 30 seconds. Annoying. Instead of describing the goal I will give you Clayden's exact quote of his opinion on the event. "Lilli pilli played the perfect off-side trap and the ref didnt call the fucking offside then he chipped me"
From then on the flood gates opened and Pilli conceded another two goals in quick succession. Will Clayden on the second:
"Kurtis got tripped and the ref gave em the free kick and they scored off the header. [I'm] still so pisssed at that ref "
I've always wanted to do one of those bracket things.
Pilli's only goal of the match came after a brilliant freekick from Thomson who curled it round for Phipps to rise high and send a glancing header into the 'keepers far post. We won an aerial challenge - I know.
The goal proved merely a consolation as Ridge held firm, even forcing Clayden into some gorgeous saves in what was an otherwise glorious return performance for the player. Costa's absence was noticable yet some may question whether Pilli simply need to beef up more or whether we should jump the referee next time on his way back to his car. The loss comes a serious blow to Pilli's hopes of a minor premiership and even finishing in the top 2, with consecutive wins necessary for the rest of the season.
Pre-match talk primarily consisted and focused on the return of 'keeper William Clayden who had been out for a period as lengthy as a coloured mans' genitalia a.k.a. 3 months. The shot stopper had only managed a cluster of games early on in the season before f**king up his knee in training god knows how - and I'm not even religious. On the oppposite end of the spectrum, both Fonseca and Costa were absent due to illness and work, respectively.
The match began rather placidly and chances for both teams were limited to longe range efforts. As the half progressed, Ridge gradually eased into the game and began disrupting Pilli's play using pure brute force (guys, insert flashback of alien Halo villain). Ridges' tactics teetered on the edge of controversy as foul after foul was delivered to a significantly physically inferior but skillfully superior Pilli side - did someone say tongue twister?! No. Because I just re-read it and found it is actually pretty easy to say quickly. Now you just re-read it. Hehe.
The referee's reluctance to show Ridge players a yellow card was highlighted in a brutal clash between Phipps and probably that Lebo kent (not being racist, his nickname was Lebo, so chill the f**k out saadi - I love kebabs...and baclava <<<<--so good). Phipps, who had already passed the ball to a teammate was left crumpled when an opposition player swept him of his feet with a daft late tackle- both players clashing heads. Pilli's protests almost drowned out the vuvulzela's! . With Ridges' physical tactics now obvious it would be fair to say that they won almost every single aerial ball and hence controlled the game as much as Mel Gibson does women. Except we don't dress provocatively. The half rounded up in heartstopping fashion as Pilli 'keeper Clayden came off his line superbly in a one-on-one situation to deflect the ball around the corner and keep the score level. The second period began. And we let a goal in within 30 seconds. Annoying. Instead of describing the goal I will give you Clayden's exact quote of his opinion on the event. "Lilli pilli played the perfect off-side trap and the ref didnt call the fucking offside then he chipped me"
From then on the flood gates opened and Pilli conceded another two goals in quick succession. Will Clayden on the second:
"Kurtis got tripped and the ref gave em the free kick and they scored off the header. [I'm] still so pisssed at that ref "
I've always wanted to do one of those bracket things.
Pilli's only goal of the match came after a brilliant freekick from Thomson who curled it round for Phipps to rise high and send a glancing header into the 'keepers far post. We won an aerial challenge - I know.
The goal proved merely a consolation as Ridge held firm, even forcing Clayden into some gorgeous saves in what was an otherwise glorious return performance for the player. Costa's absence was noticable yet some may question whether Pilli simply need to beef up more or whether we should jump the referee next time on his way back to his car. The loss comes a serious blow to Pilli's hopes of a minor premiership and even finishing in the top 2, with consecutive wins necessary for the rest of the season.
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Better Team One
Pilli 1's won the 'Battle of the Berrie Dome' in what turned out to be an attacking display from the side - slotting two past their local rivals and conceding none. A penalty from Squeak and a second career goal from Daniel Costa saw Pilli 1's keep pace with the top of the table - and almost certainly booked them a place in the play-offs.
Pilli 1's a.k.a. 'The Better One' began the match with three players missing - Clayden, Fonseca and Fynn due to a knee injury, ankle injury and international duty respectively. The player shortage resulted in a reshuffling of the squad's usual formation with captaino Stephen Foldi dropping into a centre back role and Costa Daniel Costa sliding up onto the right wing.
The first minutes of the game were littered with a flurry attacking moves down the right side of midfield with Daniel Costa and Jacob Healey working well to slice open Pilli 2’s a.k.a. 'The Shit One's' defense - however, crucially, Pilli 1's remained unable to finish.
This continued to be the case until Daniel Costa launched his side into the lead with a beautifully taken shot into the bottom corner after the ball floated around lazily in the 18 yard box. His teammates (and the massive crowd) were initially overcome with jubilation until they were reminded of who had scored - meaning they were defintely were not going to hear the end of this as Costa is known to have a considerably sized ego, which some say may just be a method of compensation...
However, Costa wasn’t the only summer aquistion to be making an impact. A speedy Michael Treacy had been thrust into the forward line to partner with the sneaky Greek that is Alex Poulos. Both were able to cause a significant amount of trouble down Pilli 2's back line with their combination of silky skill and Usain-Bolt-like pace (or extremely non-will-clayden-like pace).
Defender Jackson Versitano also made sure he did not remain unnoticed in the race to become 'Rookie of the Year'. Repetitions of his goal line saves and also his efficient support for Daniel Costa and Jacob Healey kept him in contention. Strangely, in light of some great performances, Pilli 1's only manged the one goal in the first half.
The second period opened less rapidly as Pilli gradually rediscovered their dominance they displayed in the first half. Healey, Phipps and Costa continued some brilliant exchanges down the right hand side. Though, equally as sleek was a tidy one-two between Treacy and Healey which resulted in the centre midfielder firing a solid left footed shot, smacking off the far post. It was a case of so close yet so far for Healey who has only coughed up the single goal on his debut game. The midfielder had numerous chances to change that run throughout the game - though a sexy overall performance seemed just enough ro keep him happy and not being hell emo for the rest of the day.
Pilli's second goal came not far from the final whistle as an in-the-box tussle between someone on my team and someone on the other team resulted in a penalty and a bleeding nose from someuy on the other team. Lacking detail? Yeh 'cuz I didn't play and was busy playing with Em Gilbs dog. His name is Toby. He is cute. Like me. :)
More to the point, Squeak stepped up to the plate and bounced the spherical device which is the ball to the 'keepers right and into the old onion bag. From then on Pilli eased back to the concern of one William Clayden. Though Pilli 1's managed to hang on and earn a vital three points in the race for the minor premiership. An exciting fixture list awaits Pilli 1's and it may even appear the minor title may be won on the last day of the season. How exciting! Don't you think?
Pilli 1's a.k.a. 'The Better One' began the match with three players missing - Clayden, Fonseca and Fynn due to a knee injury, ankle injury and international duty respectively. The player shortage resulted in a reshuffling of the squad's usual formation with captaino Stephen Foldi dropping into a centre back role and Costa Daniel Costa sliding up onto the right wing.
The first minutes of the game were littered with a flurry attacking moves down the right side of midfield with Daniel Costa and Jacob Healey working well to slice open Pilli 2’s a.k.a. 'The Shit One's' defense - however, crucially, Pilli 1's remained unable to finish.
This continued to be the case until Daniel Costa launched his side into the lead with a beautifully taken shot into the bottom corner after the ball floated around lazily in the 18 yard box. His teammates (and the massive crowd) were initially overcome with jubilation until they were reminded of who had scored - meaning they were defintely were not going to hear the end of this as Costa is known to have a considerably sized ego, which some say may just be a method of compensation...
However, Costa wasn’t the only summer aquistion to be making an impact. A speedy Michael Treacy had been thrust into the forward line to partner with the sneaky Greek that is Alex Poulos. Both were able to cause a significant amount of trouble down Pilli 2's back line with their combination of silky skill and Usain-Bolt-like pace (or extremely non-will-clayden-like pace).
Defender Jackson Versitano also made sure he did not remain unnoticed in the race to become 'Rookie of the Year'. Repetitions of his goal line saves and also his efficient support for Daniel Costa and Jacob Healey kept him in contention. Strangely, in light of some great performances, Pilli 1's only manged the one goal in the first half.
The second period opened less rapidly as Pilli gradually rediscovered their dominance they displayed in the first half. Healey, Phipps and Costa continued some brilliant exchanges down the right hand side. Though, equally as sleek was a tidy one-two between Treacy and Healey which resulted in the centre midfielder firing a solid left footed shot, smacking off the far post. It was a case of so close yet so far for Healey who has only coughed up the single goal on his debut game. The midfielder had numerous chances to change that run throughout the game - though a sexy overall performance seemed just enough ro keep him happy and not being hell emo for the rest of the day.
Pilli's second goal came not far from the final whistle as an in-the-box tussle between someone on my team and someone on the other team resulted in a penalty and a bleeding nose from someuy on the other team. Lacking detail? Yeh 'cuz I didn't play and was busy playing with Em Gilbs dog. His name is Toby. He is cute. Like me. :)
More to the point, Squeak stepped up to the plate and bounced the spherical device which is the ball to the 'keepers right and into the old onion bag. From then on Pilli eased back to the concern of one William Clayden. Though Pilli 1's managed to hang on and earn a vital three points in the race for the minor premiership. An exciting fixture list awaits Pilli 1's and it may even appear the minor title may be won on the last day of the season. How exciting! Don't you think?
That Is My Team: Daniel John Costa
Name:
Daniel-John Costa
DOB:
12/4/1991
Height/weight:
178cm/70kg
Nationality:
DR Congo
Previous clubs:
De La Salle JRL
Reason for leaving previous club:
More lucrative footballing contract.
Achievements/career highlights:
First Goal and running out on the pitch of first match
At what age did you begin your career in football?
18
Current favourite song?
Rap.
Favourite meal?
Chicken Stirfry
Who in the team takes the longest in the shower?
Myself to was my massive penis
Biggest ego in the team?
Jacob Healey
Team clown?
Damien... Myself
Who requests the most prostitute visits?
William Clayton
Do you think Pilli can win the premiership this season?
BLOODY OATH
Plans for the future?
Get Money, Fuck bitches.
Friday, July 2, 2010
That Is My Team: William Clayden
Name:
William John Clayden
DOB:
8/9/1991
Height:
6'2
Position:
Goalkeeper
Nationality:
Australian
Previous clubs:
Miranda Magpies
Reason for leaving previous club:
Mistreatment of talent
Achievements/career highlights:
10 years Miranda, 3 goal against season, 2000 runners up, 2001 runners up, 2002 runners up, 2009 PREMIERS, moving to Lilli Pilli ,2009 Man of the Match Grand Final
At what age did you begin your career in football?
5 years old
Current favourite song?
Everlong, Foo Fighters
Favourite meal?
pasta
Who in the team takes the longest in the shower?
Alex Poulos
Biggest ego in the team?
No egos allowed ( Formerly Mark Andersson)
Team clown?
Deejay Costa
Who requests the most prostitute visits?
Kurtis Thompson
Do you think Pilli can win the premiership this season?
Back 2 Back
Plans for the future?
Not get inkuried all the time, BACK 2 BACK
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