Pilli Plunge Off Ridge

LPFC U21's suffered a controversial 3-1 defeat at the hands of a ruthless Barden Ridge 2 side and also, as many could argue - the referee. The loss is Pilli's first defeat in a substantial of games - clearly a statistic I cannot be bothered specifying because I just cbf looking back and counting. A late consolation from Pilli virtuoso Matthew Phipps minimised the humiliating sight of a 3-0 scoreline.

Pre-match talk primarily consisted and focused on the return of 'keeper William Clayden who had been out for a period as lengthy as a coloured mans' genitalia a.k.a. 3 months. The shot stopper had only managed a cluster of games early on in the season before f**king up his knee in training god knows how - and I'm not even religious. On the oppposite end of the spectrum, both Fonseca and Costa were absent due to illness and work, respectively.

The match began rather placidly and chances for both teams were limited to longe range efforts. As the half progressed, Ridge gradually eased into the game and began disrupting Pilli's play using pure brute force (guys, insert flashback of alien Halo villain). Ridges' tactics teetered on the edge of controversy as foul after foul was delivered to a significantly physically inferior but skillfully superior Pilli side - did someone say tongue twister?! No. Because I just re-read it and found it is actually pretty easy to say quickly. Now you just re-read it. Hehe.

The referee's reluctance to show Ridge players a yellow card was highlighted in a brutal clash between Phipps and probably that Lebo kent (not being racist, his nickname was Lebo, so chill the f**k out saadi - I love kebabs...and baclava <<<<--so good). Phipps, who had already passed the ball to a teammate was left crumpled when an opposition player swept him of his feet with a daft late tackle- both players clashing heads. Pilli's protests almost drowned out the vuvulzela's! . With Ridges' physical tactics now obvious it would be fair to say that they won almost every single aerial ball and hence controlled the game as much as Mel Gibson does women. Except we don't dress provocatively. The half rounded up in heartstopping fashion as Pilli 'keeper Clayden came off his line superbly in a one-on-one situation to deflect the ball around the corner and keep the score level. The second period began. And we let a goal in within 30 seconds. Annoying. Instead of describing the goal I will give you Clayden's exact quote of his opinion on the event. "Lilli pilli played the perfect off-side trap and the ref didnt call the fucking offside then he chipped me"

From then on the flood gates opened and Pilli conceded another two goals in quick succession. Will Clayden on the second:

"Kurtis got tripped and the ref gave em the free kick and they scored off the header. [I'm] still so pisssed at that ref "

I've always wanted to do one of those bracket things.

Pilli's only goal of the match came after a brilliant freekick from Thomson who curled it round for Phipps to rise high and send a glancing header into the 'keepers far post. We won an aerial challenge - I know.

The goal proved merely a consolation as Ridge held firm, even forcing Clayden into some gorgeous saves in what was an otherwise glorious return performance for the player. Costa's absence was noticable yet some may question whether Pilli simply need to beef up more or whether we should jump the referee next time on his way back to his car. The loss comes a serious blow to Pilli's hopes of a minor premiership and even finishing in the top 2, with consecutive wins necessary for the rest of the season.