What the Hawk? - A Jacob Healey suggested title

LPFC U21's have shared the spoils with a 9.5-man Menai Hawks 2 side after a 1-1 draw on a fine (the weather at least) afternoon. A level-headed penalty from Squeak Psarras handed Pilli the lead throughout most the match until Menai pulled one back to grab a thoroughly undeserved point and essentially end Pilli's chances of a top two finish. Pilli defender Jackson Versitano watched on from the stands - recovering from a groin injury.

Menai began the game fielding 9 players - reminiscent of the last fixture between the two where Pilli scraped through a 2-1 win in a match that lacked as much intensity as a Rafa Benitez goal celebration. Thus, a tedious atmosphere lurked in the squad who nonetheless were determined to make the most of their two-man advantage.

As expected, Pilli came out with guns (namely Damo's) blazing. The Caringbah-siders, Caringbanians or whatever other suffix can be attached to the word 'Caringbah' to specify a locale, passed the ball around the park beautifully and appeared to be succeeding in their mission. A number of times the ball was switched flanks by the back line (aka black line), a sight which has not been seen in as long a time as Adam Kwok, Matt Frost and Matt Borger. If a stats team had been present and the game broadcast on television, I'm sure a little pop-up would have appeared with a 90% possession stat in favour of Pilli. Each and every time the ball landed before a Hawks' player it would would be launched into row-Z (the various of trees surrounding the park).

As time wore on the same trend continued and Pilli became increasingly fustrated with Menai's tactical game. When the half-time whistle blew and the game still scoreless it was time for Pilli to recieve an inspired dose of citrus...oh and a team talk.

Re-energised and with that f**king orange fibre stuck in our teeth, Pilli vowed to not let the fustration creep in to their game. Also notable was the fact that Menai gained a player during the half.

Once again Pilli dominated proceedings as much the women in those fem-dom videos Clayden always trys to get me to watch (do not google it). Passing movement were slick in the midfield, with the flanks often supporting passmaster Healey well, who I might add has been affectionately been given the nickname 'Yellow Boots' by his opposition. If we can turn it into 'Yootsie' or something cute then I'm sure that would please him too. No? Ok, dw bout it!

It was not until mid-way through the second period when Pilli thrust themsleves ;) onto the score sheet. An early centre from Pilli leprochaun Michael Treacy resulted in an akward bounce in the penalty box for Menai defender and Thierry Henry fanatic 'Johnny' - who clearly attempted to control the ball with his arm, which for those who aren't fimiliar with the beautiful game - is considered a handball. The resulting penalty was finely tucked away by Pilli winger Squeak Psarras.

With Pilli now leading, Menai slowly attempted to work their way back into the game - often unsuccessfully, probably due to the two er...big-boned members of their squad...a.k.a the fat sh*t who told me to man-up when I got elbowed in the eye. Yeh you heard me...you wanna pizza me?

As the game wound down Pilli still were searching for another goal, a fatal tactical mistake. As luck would have it, Menai snatched a goal with literally the last kick of the game - with low-driven shot from outside the box. No wait. I was too nice there. Let me start again. WTF defence/centre midfield? Anyways, I considered asking Will to write something here but didn't want to get banned for overuse of profanity...and postage of innappropriate videos.