Pilli FC U21's have claimed a glorious 3-1 victory over hoodoo team Barden Ridgebacks 1 - whom they have drawn with twice in their previous encounters. A highly productive first half put Pilli in the green with three successive goals coming from capitano Stephen Foldi, playmaker Matthew Phipps and the diminutive but dangerous Miguel Treacy.
Pilli's pre-game preparations had included a doubling of intensity in their training regime to not one, but to a spectacular workload of two training sessions - reportedly consisting of the cross-bar challenge drill for over half of both sessions. Who wants to aim for that puny 57.6 square metre vertical plane anyways?
Right from the get-go Pilli's intense new training schedule looked to be paying dividends. The Berries' hunger for the ball vastly overwhelmed a somewhat shocked Ridebacks side. More importantly, Pilli held their structural shape in defence - as expected after having the second best goals against tally throughout the season. Often, Pilli performed movements as slick as the surface waters of the Gulf Coast. Though, unlike the Gulf Coast waters - the plays faded away. Tactically, Pilli had an obvious edge over their opponents - with regular substitutions being made by coach Dan Andersson.
It was not until around the 23rd minute mark that Pilli took the match by the throat and then proceeded to repeatedly raped the sh*t out of it - all in the space of a stunning 20 minutes.
The first goal may, arguably, not have been as good as I've talked us up to be because 1) Foldi scored it and 2) Foldi scored it. After winning a freekick at 20 yards Healey stepped aside to let his midfield compatriot Matthew Phipps to take the shot - one which he sent curling viciously straight at the opposition 'keepers chest, which turned out to be covered in butter and not talcum powder (as Clayden does). The resulting impact and subsequent rebound landed straight at an onrushing Stephen Foldi's feet, who then miscued his initial shot but finally manage to guide the ball in as gently as you would caress an injured beaver...Anywho, the goal lifted Pilli's spirits to an extent, but nevertheless they knew that the game was far from over.
That was, until, a certain Matthew Phipps finished off some of his teammates either magical or sloppy play (I couldnt really tell). However his finish left no doubt in punters minds that Pilli meant serious business. After recieving the ball barely a yard from the box, Phipps took a couple-a-cute touches and with one mighty stroke sent the ball into the 'keepers bottom right corner - leaving him with as much chance of saving it as the Austrlian Sex Party coming to some sort of power in politics. Yes that is an actual political group.
A meager eight and a half minutes had passed when Pilli struck yet again - this time in the form of Michael Treacy. After a long ball was heaved upfield from inside Pilli's half, an energetic Treacy latched onto it beautifully and while still running, slotted a gorgeous placed ball to the keepers right - sending fans into raptures and me falling and slamming my fists on the grounds - only to get up quickly to look up if anyone had seen me. Not long after, the albino Mr Burrows look-a-like ref blew the whistle to bring a stunning half to a close.
So pretty much we ate oranges at half time and decided to go on the defensive to win. And Clayden once again didn't manage to keep a clean sheet. But that's ok because he had a decent game.
So! Pilli advance in their quest to win back-to-back championships. As soon as we know the time and place we are calling all blog readers to come and support us, because if and when we do win, we will have the biggest night out/celebration of our little lives. Sounds aight yeh?
Also, I will attempt to post video of the actual goals this week because I love you guys so much. Below is an excerpt of a conversation I had with midfielder Jacob Healey:
Healey: Dont forget I set up the three goals, I earnt the free kick, passed the ball to Phipps, then passed it to Treacy. It was a jacob game
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
What the Hawk? - A Jacob Healey suggested title
LPFC U21's have shared the spoils with a 9.5-man Menai Hawks 2 side after a 1-1 draw on a fine (the weather at least) afternoon. A level-headed penalty from Squeak Psarras handed Pilli the lead throughout most the match until Menai pulled one back to grab a thoroughly undeserved point and essentially end Pilli's chances of a top two finish. Pilli defender Jackson Versitano watched on from the stands - recovering from a groin injury.
Menai began the game fielding 9 players - reminiscent of the last fixture between the two where Pilli scraped through a 2-1 win in a match that lacked as much intensity as a Rafa Benitez goal celebration. Thus, a tedious atmosphere lurked in the squad who nonetheless were determined to make the most of their two-man advantage.
As expected, Pilli came out with guns (namely Damo's) blazing. The Caringbah-siders, Caringbanians or whatever other suffix can be attached to the word 'Caringbah' to specify a locale, passed the ball around the park beautifully and appeared to be succeeding in their mission. A number of times the ball was switched flanks by the back line (aka black line), a sight which has not been seen in as long a time as Adam Kwok, Matt Frost and Matt Borger. If a stats team had been present and the game broadcast on television, I'm sure a little pop-up would have appeared with a 90% possession stat in favour of Pilli. Each and every time the ball landed before a Hawks' player it would would be launched into row-Z (the various of trees surrounding the park).
As time wore on the same trend continued and Pilli became increasingly fustrated with Menai's tactical game. When the half-time whistle blew and the game still scoreless it was time for Pilli to recieve an inspired dose of citrus...oh and a team talk.
Re-energised and with that f**king orange fibre stuck in our teeth, Pilli vowed to not let the fustration creep in to their game. Also notable was the fact that Menai gained a player during the half.
Once again Pilli dominated proceedings as much the women in those fem-dom videos Clayden always trys to get me to watch (do not google it). Passing movement were slick in the midfield, with the flanks often supporting passmaster Healey well, who I might add has been affectionately been given the nickname 'Yellow Boots' by his opposition. If we can turn it into 'Yootsie' or something cute then I'm sure that would please him too. No? Ok, dw bout it!
It was not until mid-way through the second period when Pilli thrust themsleves ;) onto the score sheet. An early centre from Pilli leprochaun Michael Treacy resulted in an akward bounce in the penalty box for Menai defender and Thierry Henry fanatic 'Johnny' - who clearly attempted to control the ball with his arm, which for those who aren't fimiliar with the beautiful game - is considered a handball. The resulting penalty was finely tucked away by Pilli winger Squeak Psarras.
With Pilli now leading, Menai slowly attempted to work their way back into the game - often unsuccessfully, probably due to the two er...big-boned members of their squad...a.k.a the fat sh*t who told me to man-up when I got elbowed in the eye. Yeh you heard me...you wanna pizza me?
As the game wound down Pilli still were searching for another goal, a fatal tactical mistake. As luck would have it, Menai snatched a goal with literally the last kick of the game - with low-driven shot from outside the box. No wait. I was too nice there. Let me start again. WTF defence/centre midfield? Anyways, I considered asking Will to write something here but didn't want to get banned for overuse of profanity...and postage of innappropriate videos.
Menai began the game fielding 9 players - reminiscent of the last fixture between the two where Pilli scraped through a 2-1 win in a match that lacked as much intensity as a Rafa Benitez goal celebration. Thus, a tedious atmosphere lurked in the squad who nonetheless were determined to make the most of their two-man advantage.
As expected, Pilli came out with guns (namely Damo's) blazing. The Caringbah-siders, Caringbanians or whatever other suffix can be attached to the word 'Caringbah' to specify a locale, passed the ball around the park beautifully and appeared to be succeeding in their mission. A number of times the ball was switched flanks by the back line (aka black line), a sight which has not been seen in as long a time as Adam Kwok, Matt Frost and Matt Borger. If a stats team had been present and the game broadcast on television, I'm sure a little pop-up would have appeared with a 90% possession stat in favour of Pilli. Each and every time the ball landed before a Hawks' player it would would be launched into row-Z (the various of trees surrounding the park).
As time wore on the same trend continued and Pilli became increasingly fustrated with Menai's tactical game. When the half-time whistle blew and the game still scoreless it was time for Pilli to recieve an inspired dose of citrus...oh and a team talk.
Re-energised and with that f**king orange fibre stuck in our teeth, Pilli vowed to not let the fustration creep in to their game. Also notable was the fact that Menai gained a player during the half.
Once again Pilli dominated proceedings as much the women in those fem-dom videos Clayden always trys to get me to watch (do not google it). Passing movement were slick in the midfield, with the flanks often supporting passmaster Healey well, who I might add has been affectionately been given the nickname 'Yellow Boots' by his opposition. If we can turn it into 'Yootsie' or something cute then I'm sure that would please him too. No? Ok, dw bout it!
It was not until mid-way through the second period when Pilli thrust themsleves ;) onto the score sheet. An early centre from Pilli leprochaun Michael Treacy resulted in an akward bounce in the penalty box for Menai defender and Thierry Henry fanatic 'Johnny' - who clearly attempted to control the ball with his arm, which for those who aren't fimiliar with the beautiful game - is considered a handball. The resulting penalty was finely tucked away by Pilli winger Squeak Psarras.
With Pilli now leading, Menai slowly attempted to work their way back into the game - often unsuccessfully, probably due to the two er...big-boned members of their squad...a.k.a the fat sh*t who told me to man-up when I got elbowed in the eye. Yeh you heard me...you wanna pizza me?
As the game wound down Pilli still were searching for another goal, a fatal tactical mistake. As luck would have it, Menai snatched a goal with literally the last kick of the game - with low-driven shot from outside the box. No wait. I was too nice there. Let me start again. WTF defence/centre midfield? Anyways, I considered asking Will to write something here but didn't want to get banned for overuse of profanity...and postage of innappropriate videos.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Pilli Plunge Off Ridge
LPFC U21's suffered a controversial 3-1 defeat at the hands of a ruthless Barden Ridge 2 side and also, as many could argue - the referee. The loss is Pilli's first defeat in a substantial of games - clearly a statistic I cannot be bothered specifying because I just cbf looking back and counting. A late consolation from Pilli virtuoso Matthew Phipps minimised the humiliating sight of a 3-0 scoreline.
Pre-match talk primarily consisted and focused on the return of 'keeper William Clayden who had been out for a period as lengthy as a coloured mans' genitalia a.k.a. 3 months. The shot stopper had only managed a cluster of games early on in the season before f**king up his knee in training god knows how - and I'm not even religious. On the oppposite end of the spectrum, both Fonseca and Costa were absent due to illness and work, respectively.
The match began rather placidly and chances for both teams were limited to longe range efforts. As the half progressed, Ridge gradually eased into the game and began disrupting Pilli's play using pure brute force (guys, insert flashback of alien Halo villain). Ridges' tactics teetered on the edge of controversy as foul after foul was delivered to a significantly physically inferior but skillfully superior Pilli side - did someone say tongue twister?! No. Because I just re-read it and found it is actually pretty easy to say quickly. Now you just re-read it. Hehe.
The referee's reluctance to show Ridge players a yellow card was highlighted in a brutal clash between Phipps and probably that Lebo kent (not being racist, his nickname was Lebo, so chill the f**k out saadi - I love kebabs...and baclava <<<<--so good). Phipps, who had already passed the ball to a teammate was left crumpled when an opposition player swept him of his feet with a daft late tackle- both players clashing heads. Pilli's protests almost drowned out the vuvulzela's! . With Ridges' physical tactics now obvious it would be fair to say that they won almost every single aerial ball and hence controlled the game as much as Mel Gibson does women. Except we don't dress provocatively. The half rounded up in heartstopping fashion as Pilli 'keeper Clayden came off his line superbly in a one-on-one situation to deflect the ball around the corner and keep the score level. The second period began. And we let a goal in within 30 seconds. Annoying. Instead of describing the goal I will give you Clayden's exact quote of his opinion on the event. "Lilli pilli played the perfect off-side trap and the ref didnt call the fucking offside then he chipped me"
From then on the flood gates opened and Pilli conceded another two goals in quick succession. Will Clayden on the second:
"Kurtis got tripped and the ref gave em the free kick and they scored off the header. [I'm] still so pisssed at that ref "
I've always wanted to do one of those bracket things.
Pilli's only goal of the match came after a brilliant freekick from Thomson who curled it round for Phipps to rise high and send a glancing header into the 'keepers far post. We won an aerial challenge - I know.
The goal proved merely a consolation as Ridge held firm, even forcing Clayden into some gorgeous saves in what was an otherwise glorious return performance for the player. Costa's absence was noticable yet some may question whether Pilli simply need to beef up more or whether we should jump the referee next time on his way back to his car. The loss comes a serious blow to Pilli's hopes of a minor premiership and even finishing in the top 2, with consecutive wins necessary for the rest of the season.
Pre-match talk primarily consisted and focused on the return of 'keeper William Clayden who had been out for a period as lengthy as a coloured mans' genitalia a.k.a. 3 months. The shot stopper had only managed a cluster of games early on in the season before f**king up his knee in training god knows how - and I'm not even religious. On the oppposite end of the spectrum, both Fonseca and Costa were absent due to illness and work, respectively.
The match began rather placidly and chances for both teams were limited to longe range efforts. As the half progressed, Ridge gradually eased into the game and began disrupting Pilli's play using pure brute force (guys, insert flashback of alien Halo villain). Ridges' tactics teetered on the edge of controversy as foul after foul was delivered to a significantly physically inferior but skillfully superior Pilli side - did someone say tongue twister?! No. Because I just re-read it and found it is actually pretty easy to say quickly. Now you just re-read it. Hehe.
The referee's reluctance to show Ridge players a yellow card was highlighted in a brutal clash between Phipps and probably that Lebo kent (not being racist, his nickname was Lebo, so chill the f**k out saadi - I love kebabs...and baclava <<<<--so good). Phipps, who had already passed the ball to a teammate was left crumpled when an opposition player swept him of his feet with a daft late tackle- both players clashing heads. Pilli's protests almost drowned out the vuvulzela's! . With Ridges' physical tactics now obvious it would be fair to say that they won almost every single aerial ball and hence controlled the game as much as Mel Gibson does women. Except we don't dress provocatively. The half rounded up in heartstopping fashion as Pilli 'keeper Clayden came off his line superbly in a one-on-one situation to deflect the ball around the corner and keep the score level. The second period began. And we let a goal in within 30 seconds. Annoying. Instead of describing the goal I will give you Clayden's exact quote of his opinion on the event. "Lilli pilli played the perfect off-side trap and the ref didnt call the fucking offside then he chipped me"
From then on the flood gates opened and Pilli conceded another two goals in quick succession. Will Clayden on the second:
"Kurtis got tripped and the ref gave em the free kick and they scored off the header. [I'm] still so pisssed at that ref "
I've always wanted to do one of those bracket things.
Pilli's only goal of the match came after a brilliant freekick from Thomson who curled it round for Phipps to rise high and send a glancing header into the 'keepers far post. We won an aerial challenge - I know.
The goal proved merely a consolation as Ridge held firm, even forcing Clayden into some gorgeous saves in what was an otherwise glorious return performance for the player. Costa's absence was noticable yet some may question whether Pilli simply need to beef up more or whether we should jump the referee next time on his way back to his car. The loss comes a serious blow to Pilli's hopes of a minor premiership and even finishing in the top 2, with consecutive wins necessary for the rest of the season.
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Better Team One
Pilli 1's won the 'Battle of the Berrie Dome' in what turned out to be an attacking display from the side - slotting two past their local rivals and conceding none. A penalty from Squeak and a second career goal from Daniel Costa saw Pilli 1's keep pace with the top of the table - and almost certainly booked them a place in the play-offs.
Pilli 1's a.k.a. 'The Better One' began the match with three players missing - Clayden, Fonseca and Fynn due to a knee injury, ankle injury and international duty respectively. The player shortage resulted in a reshuffling of the squad's usual formation with captaino Stephen Foldi dropping into a centre back role and Costa Daniel Costa sliding up onto the right wing.
The first minutes of the game were littered with a flurry attacking moves down the right side of midfield with Daniel Costa and Jacob Healey working well to slice open Pilli 2’s a.k.a. 'The Shit One's' defense - however, crucially, Pilli 1's remained unable to finish.
This continued to be the case until Daniel Costa launched his side into the lead with a beautifully taken shot into the bottom corner after the ball floated around lazily in the 18 yard box. His teammates (and the massive crowd) were initially overcome with jubilation until they were reminded of who had scored - meaning they were defintely were not going to hear the end of this as Costa is known to have a considerably sized ego, which some say may just be a method of compensation...
However, Costa wasn’t the only summer aquistion to be making an impact. A speedy Michael Treacy had been thrust into the forward line to partner with the sneaky Greek that is Alex Poulos. Both were able to cause a significant amount of trouble down Pilli 2's back line with their combination of silky skill and Usain-Bolt-like pace (or extremely non-will-clayden-like pace).
Defender Jackson Versitano also made sure he did not remain unnoticed in the race to become 'Rookie of the Year'. Repetitions of his goal line saves and also his efficient support for Daniel Costa and Jacob Healey kept him in contention. Strangely, in light of some great performances, Pilli 1's only manged the one goal in the first half.
The second period opened less rapidly as Pilli gradually rediscovered their dominance they displayed in the first half. Healey, Phipps and Costa continued some brilliant exchanges down the right hand side. Though, equally as sleek was a tidy one-two between Treacy and Healey which resulted in the centre midfielder firing a solid left footed shot, smacking off the far post. It was a case of so close yet so far for Healey who has only coughed up the single goal on his debut game. The midfielder had numerous chances to change that run throughout the game - though a sexy overall performance seemed just enough ro keep him happy and not being hell emo for the rest of the day.
Pilli's second goal came not far from the final whistle as an in-the-box tussle between someone on my team and someone on the other team resulted in a penalty and a bleeding nose from someuy on the other team. Lacking detail? Yeh 'cuz I didn't play and was busy playing with Em Gilbs dog. His name is Toby. He is cute. Like me. :)
More to the point, Squeak stepped up to the plate and bounced the spherical device which is the ball to the 'keepers right and into the old onion bag. From then on Pilli eased back to the concern of one William Clayden. Though Pilli 1's managed to hang on and earn a vital three points in the race for the minor premiership. An exciting fixture list awaits Pilli 1's and it may even appear the minor title may be won on the last day of the season. How exciting! Don't you think?
Pilli 1's a.k.a. 'The Better One' began the match with three players missing - Clayden, Fonseca and Fynn due to a knee injury, ankle injury and international duty respectively. The player shortage resulted in a reshuffling of the squad's usual formation with captaino Stephen Foldi dropping into a centre back role and Costa Daniel Costa sliding up onto the right wing.
The first minutes of the game were littered with a flurry attacking moves down the right side of midfield with Daniel Costa and Jacob Healey working well to slice open Pilli 2’s a.k.a. 'The Shit One's' defense - however, crucially, Pilli 1's remained unable to finish.
This continued to be the case until Daniel Costa launched his side into the lead with a beautifully taken shot into the bottom corner after the ball floated around lazily in the 18 yard box. His teammates (and the massive crowd) were initially overcome with jubilation until they were reminded of who had scored - meaning they were defintely were not going to hear the end of this as Costa is known to have a considerably sized ego, which some say may just be a method of compensation...
However, Costa wasn’t the only summer aquistion to be making an impact. A speedy Michael Treacy had been thrust into the forward line to partner with the sneaky Greek that is Alex Poulos. Both were able to cause a significant amount of trouble down Pilli 2's back line with their combination of silky skill and Usain-Bolt-like pace (or extremely non-will-clayden-like pace).
Defender Jackson Versitano also made sure he did not remain unnoticed in the race to become 'Rookie of the Year'. Repetitions of his goal line saves and also his efficient support for Daniel Costa and Jacob Healey kept him in contention. Strangely, in light of some great performances, Pilli 1's only manged the one goal in the first half.
The second period opened less rapidly as Pilli gradually rediscovered their dominance they displayed in the first half. Healey, Phipps and Costa continued some brilliant exchanges down the right hand side. Though, equally as sleek was a tidy one-two between Treacy and Healey which resulted in the centre midfielder firing a solid left footed shot, smacking off the far post. It was a case of so close yet so far for Healey who has only coughed up the single goal on his debut game. The midfielder had numerous chances to change that run throughout the game - though a sexy overall performance seemed just enough ro keep him happy and not being hell emo for the rest of the day.
Pilli's second goal came not far from the final whistle as an in-the-box tussle between someone on my team and someone on the other team resulted in a penalty and a bleeding nose from someuy on the other team. Lacking detail? Yeh 'cuz I didn't play and was busy playing with Em Gilbs dog. His name is Toby. He is cute. Like me. :)
More to the point, Squeak stepped up to the plate and bounced the spherical device which is the ball to the 'keepers right and into the old onion bag. From then on Pilli eased back to the concern of one William Clayden. Though Pilli 1's managed to hang on and earn a vital three points in the race for the minor premiership. An exciting fixture list awaits Pilli 1's and it may even appear the minor title may be won on the last day of the season. How exciting! Don't you think?
That Is My Team: Daniel John Costa
Name:
Daniel-John Costa
DOB:
12/4/1991
Height/weight:
178cm/70kg
Nationality:
DR Congo
Previous clubs:
De La Salle JRL
Reason for leaving previous club:
More lucrative footballing contract.
Achievements/career highlights:
First Goal and running out on the pitch of first match
At what age did you begin your career in football?
18
Current favourite song?
Rap.
Favourite meal?
Chicken Stirfry
Who in the team takes the longest in the shower?
Myself to was my massive penis
Biggest ego in the team?
Jacob Healey
Team clown?
Damien... Myself
Who requests the most prostitute visits?
William Clayton
Do you think Pilli can win the premiership this season?
BLOODY OATH
Plans for the future?
Get Money, Fuck bitches.
Friday, July 2, 2010
That Is My Team: William Clayden
Name:
William John Clayden
DOB:
8/9/1991
Height:
6'2
Position:
Goalkeeper
Nationality:
Australian
Previous clubs:
Miranda Magpies
Reason for leaving previous club:
Mistreatment of talent
Achievements/career highlights:
10 years Miranda, 3 goal against season, 2000 runners up, 2001 runners up, 2002 runners up, 2009 PREMIERS, moving to Lilli Pilli ,2009 Man of the Match Grand Final
At what age did you begin your career in football?
5 years old
Current favourite song?
Everlong, Foo Fighters
Favourite meal?
pasta
Who in the team takes the longest in the shower?
Alex Poulos
Biggest ego in the team?
No egos allowed ( Formerly Mark Andersson)
Team clown?
Deejay Costa
Who requests the most prostitute visits?
Kurtis Thompson
Do you think Pilli can win the premiership this season?
Back 2 Back
Plans for the future?
Not get inkuried all the time, BACK 2 BACK
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
That Is My Team: Matthew Burg
Let the 'Damo-is-black-so-he-needs-the-most-showers' jokes begin...
Name:
Matthew Burg
DOB:
31/12/1991
Position:
Center Midfield/Forward/Goalkeeper
Height/weight:
Tall/ not sure, probs about 75-80 kg
Nationality:
Australian, but one grandparent born in Italy and lived there for about 10 years, and another great grandparent from Germany
Previous clubs:
No previous clubs, I'm loyal to Lilli Pilli FC
Reason for leaving previous club:
N/A
Achievements/career highlights: A couple of premierships playing for Lilli Pilli, highlight was last years premiership and watching Will's grand final winning save
At what age did you begin your career in football?
Began in the under 6's or 7's
Current favourite song?
Gettin' over you, David Guetta/LMFAO
Favourite meal?
Lasagne
Who in the team takes the longest in the shower?
Obviously not Damien cause he is always so dirty, probably Paul or Michael cause they are so white and must spend a lot of time cleaning their skin, unlike damo
Biggest ego in the team?
Costa for sure, no need to explain
Team clown?
Damo cause the match reports are always pretty funny (or should I say punny, actually probably not)
Who requests the most prostitute visits?
Probably Kurtis, the past poll results indicate this
Do you think Pilli can win the premiership this season?
For sure, we have a gun team and we have beaten the top teams and have had close games with the others near the top. We just need to make sure that we turn up ready for the rest of the games cause when this happens we will beat any team
Plans for the future?
On the sporting side, hopefully continue to play football for Lilli Pilli FC in the same team for the next couple of years. I'm studying engineering at uni, which is pretty tough, which will take over 4 long years.
NEW: 'That's My Team'
Some here at the blog offices have concluded PilliBlog should tax NRL's 'That's My Team' campaign and put it to better use in the context of the real football. Hence we have signed up Will Clayden to sing a new, more impr...actually scrap that last part, version of the song. Though, even more important than absolutely obliterating your eardrums with Claydens vocals, is the introduction of this new segment of the blog entitled: 'That Is My Team'- where you will be able to get more intimate through a set of carefully devised, raw, uncensored and unedited interviews/player profiling.
So enjoy.
Note:
The contraction in 'That's My Team' has been dropped in an effort to subtly hint that we in football are more sophisticated, classy and proper. We will not gang rape you, group sex you, lose you 100 million consecutive state titles, convert to AFL or be racist...can't garauntee that last part since we just threw that in their for the sake of making the list look longer.
So enjoy.
Note:
The contraction in 'That's My Team' has been dropped in an effort to subtly hint that we in football are more sophisticated, classy and proper. We will not gang rape you, group sex you, lose you 100 million consecutive state titles, convert to AFL or be racist...can't garauntee that last part since we just threw that in their for the sake of making the list look longer.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Just 'Aint Magpie Season
LPFC 21's played efficiently enough to overcome a boisterous Miranda Magpies side 2-0 on a temperate Saturday afternoon. Goals from Alex Poulos and Matthew Phipps were sufficient to hand Pilli a smash'n'grab three points.
Pilli commenced the game lacking flambouyant winger Fonseca and 'keeper Will Clayden due to an ankle and knee injury, respectively. Not-yet fully-recovered left back Paul Clark started on the bench as Pilli looked to keep their place in the top four, and depending on other results, move up the ladder.
Initially, both teams played a game of football as open as that of the legs of most of Kurtis' one-night stands - infact, the writer of this blog would even go as far to say that that sort of openess is not comparable to anything whatsoever.
Miranda gradually slipped into their groove and at times it was obvious who the home team was, with the Magpies playing some great first-touch football - which was probably encouraged by former player Claydens cheers for his old club.
It seemed everytime Pilli made an advance on Magpie territory they would be easily dispossessed and countered upon heavily with a three-man Miranda strikeforce who often lacked the finish, hence not testing Matthew Burg a.k.a. Burgster, Burger Bum, BB King, Burgy Wurgy, B-Dog, Northrop Grumman B-2 Spirit and/or Robert Green - in goals.
While Miranda appeared the better side and had Pilli on the back foot more often than not, it was the team with the green and gold jersey that struck first - blowing the game as wide open as...you get it. A pin point clearance from Michael Treacy looped over the heads of Magpie defenders and a speedy Alex Poulos a.k.a. P-Diddy, P-Money and/or Alexisonfire - latched on to the ball and either watched it roll in while shielding opposition players or took a weak shot to send it into the net. We will never know since Poulos was not on Facebook at the time of writing.
Pilli's opening goal seemed to shock the Magpies from the tree-tops as they struggled to re-eneter their groove. Pilli's attacks appeared slightly more dangerous thanks to some refined passing from maestro Jacob Healey a.k.a. Jacorbor (that really was a nickname for a while), Jay Sean, JJ Snacks, Gay Jay and/or Mr. Ugly. Both teams finished the halves tied up technically, yet Pilli boasted the only goal of the period.
After watching their injured 'keeper Will Clayden being assaulted by a unnamed lebanese man with a tub of hummus and excessive body hair during an inspirational half-time speech, Plli players took to the field.
The second period played out much like the first, with Miranda continuing their fast-paced football - though they were often halting with a superb defensive showing from Pilli right-back Jackson Versitano a.k.a. Vagina (once again that was an actual nickname), Versace, JV Financial Group and/or Verso. On a specific occassion Vagina intervened with a perfectly timed tackle to save Burg from having to deal with a one-on-one situation.
Remarkably, following an almost exact blue-print of the first half, Pilli sunk Magpie hearts with a second goal 10 minutes from time. A sparky Matthew Phipps a.k.a. these nicknames aren't funny anymore, took the goal-scoring opportunity as soon as it presented itself - like he has done many times before this season. An angled corner/cross flew in from Magpies' right only for it to be knocked around wildly in the 6-yard box before falling to an eager Phipps who snuck it home.
As the clock wound down Pilli held firm to deny Miranda any chance of swooping in for a late comeback. Incase you missed that pun read the previous sentence. Yeh I'm good and you know it.
Amazingly, the win leaves Pilli 4th on goal difference - meaning Poulos better score more goals or I will rip into him so much more in future blogs.
Pilli commenced the game lacking flambouyant winger Fonseca and 'keeper Will Clayden due to an ankle and knee injury, respectively. Not-yet fully-recovered left back Paul Clark started on the bench as Pilli looked to keep their place in the top four, and depending on other results, move up the ladder.
Initially, both teams played a game of football as open as that of the legs of most of Kurtis' one-night stands - infact, the writer of this blog would even go as far to say that that sort of openess is not comparable to anything whatsoever.
Miranda gradually slipped into their groove and at times it was obvious who the home team was, with the Magpies playing some great first-touch football - which was probably encouraged by former player Claydens cheers for his old club.
It seemed everytime Pilli made an advance on Magpie territory they would be easily dispossessed and countered upon heavily with a three-man Miranda strikeforce who often lacked the finish, hence not testing Matthew Burg a.k.a. Burgster, Burger Bum, BB King, Burgy Wurgy, B-Dog, Northrop Grumman B-2 Spirit and/or Robert Green - in goals.
While Miranda appeared the better side and had Pilli on the back foot more often than not, it was the team with the green and gold jersey that struck first - blowing the game as wide open as...you get it. A pin point clearance from Michael Treacy looped over the heads of Magpie defenders and a speedy Alex Poulos a.k.a. P-Diddy, P-Money and/or Alexisonfire - latched on to the ball and either watched it roll in while shielding opposition players or took a weak shot to send it into the net. We will never know since Poulos was not on Facebook at the time of writing.
Pilli's opening goal seemed to shock the Magpies from the tree-tops as they struggled to re-eneter their groove. Pilli's attacks appeared slightly more dangerous thanks to some refined passing from maestro Jacob Healey a.k.a. Jacorbor (that really was a nickname for a while), Jay Sean, JJ Snacks, Gay Jay and/or Mr. Ugly. Both teams finished the halves tied up technically, yet Pilli boasted the only goal of the period.
After watching their injured 'keeper Will Clayden being assaulted by a unnamed lebanese man with a tub of hummus and excessive body hair during an inspirational half-time speech, Plli players took to the field.
The second period played out much like the first, with Miranda continuing their fast-paced football - though they were often halting with a superb defensive showing from Pilli right-back Jackson Versitano a.k.a. Vagina (once again that was an actual nickname), Versace, JV Financial Group and/or Verso. On a specific occassion Vagina intervened with a perfectly timed tackle to save Burg from having to deal with a one-on-one situation.
Remarkably, following an almost exact blue-print of the first half, Pilli sunk Magpie hearts with a second goal 10 minutes from time. A sparky Matthew Phipps a.k.a. these nicknames aren't funny anymore, took the goal-scoring opportunity as soon as it presented itself - like he has done many times before this season. An angled corner/cross flew in from Magpies' right only for it to be knocked around wildly in the 6-yard box before falling to an eager Phipps who snuck it home.
As the clock wound down Pilli held firm to deny Miranda any chance of swooping in for a late comeback. Incase you missed that pun read the previous sentence. Yeh I'm good and you know it.
Amazingly, the win leaves Pilli 4th on goal difference - meaning Poulos better score more goals or I will rip into him so much more in future blogs.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
River Grab Undeserved Victory (yeh no puns I know, failure)
Reported By Robert Green
After two weekends of persistent downpour it seemed Lilli Pilli FC U21’s were keen to continue their unbeaten run that stretched all the way back to their second game of the season – when they were soundly beaten by an energetic Georges River side, the former of which they were up against now. A highly controversial match followed in which an ultimately ten-man Pilli side succumbed to a 4-3 defeat.
Lilli Pilli arrived to the match with what seemed a significantly depleted squad with the likes of Clayden, Foldi and Poulos all absent due to injury, muppetness and family matters (obvious who that is), respectively. Additionally, first team coach Dan Anderrson was also unavailable; with assistant coach Declan Tracey stepping in as care taker coach. Dean Thompson (Womaniser Jr.) was called up from the Berry youth development squad as cover for the missing squad members. Are those enough excuses for a loss or…?
LPFC U21’s, or Berry Bafana Bafana - as recently renamed in honour of the World Cup - began the contest eagerly, with the Bafana (yes I will be referring to them by this name for the rest of the article) side looking far superior in all aspects of the game. Bafana’s attitude may well have been a key contributor to Pilli’s first goal which came only 10 minutes in when a delicious through ball from team leprechaun Michael Tracey was beautifully finished on the half-volley some 25-yards out by playmaker Matthew Phipps. Woo!
The opening goal seemed to launch Bafana to an even higher class of football, which can be analogously compared as Bafana being Aaron Vom Bruch’s height and River being squeak. At this point it in the match it was even reported that Sportsbet Live had Pilli’s odds at 0.65c to win. This was further ratified when new recruit Daniel Costa scored his very first goal for the club, sending the crowd into ecstasy. In a flowing move Bafana wove their way into Rivers box, when a pass out wide reached Costa, who fired and angled shot low and hard into the old onion bag. However, this was only the beginning of the end for Bafana.
With Bafana still dominating play, River launched a counter down the grandstand flank until Pilli defender Jackson Versitano was ruled to have fouled his opposite man. It was from this set piece which River sent a low and hard shot along the ground under Bafana’s wall, only for interim ‘keeper Matthew Burg to somehow gift River a goal. Some say ground keeping issues are to blame – in which they would be 100% correct.
Bafana’s impressive play soon became interrupted with numerous chances including a Squeak goal ruled offside by the emphysema-bound referee. The end of the half saw Bafana’s luck drift from bad to worse with the referee ruling an alleged pass-back from Versitano to Burg – which many claimed to be a pathetic decision. As the story goes, River scored off a deflection from the indirect free-kick. Though the worst incident of the half followed the goal in the form of the two-carded dismissal of temporary ranga Kurtis Thompson from the game after expressing his emotions to the referee.
The coaching staff then had to focus on calming their side down at the half and focusing on playing a the style they are known for – though now with ten men, and getting the boys head in the right mind frame for the next 45 minutes courtesy of a master class motivational speech from Emily Gilbert.
A reinvigorated Berries side then took to the field and looked to earn there deserved 3 points from the occasion. Both sides maintained a spectacular brand of football in their quest to bag the ever elusive last minute goal, and unfortunately River were the team to break the deadlock to take the lead. 3-2 it was.
This didn’t stop a ten men Bafana side from throwing everything at them. Incredibly, stand-in captain Michael Treacy managed to pull one back for his side after a Phipps free-kick rebounded favourably for ti’ lil’ Irish man. This was Treacy’s first goal for the club and how important it was – with Pilli looking certain to have squeezed a brilliant point from the match.
Though it was not to be for the brave men in green and gold as River shot themselves level with a devlish shot from the edge of the box – gifting themselves a rather undeserved win. As the final whistle was blown Bafan fans remained stunned that at the final result which had rightly robbed of their team of three points.
After two weekends of persistent downpour it seemed Lilli Pilli FC U21’s were keen to continue their unbeaten run that stretched all the way back to their second game of the season – when they were soundly beaten by an energetic Georges River side, the former of which they were up against now. A highly controversial match followed in which an ultimately ten-man Pilli side succumbed to a 4-3 defeat.
Lilli Pilli arrived to the match with what seemed a significantly depleted squad with the likes of Clayden, Foldi and Poulos all absent due to injury, muppetness and family matters (obvious who that is), respectively. Additionally, first team coach Dan Anderrson was also unavailable; with assistant coach Declan Tracey stepping in as care taker coach. Dean Thompson (Womaniser Jr.) was called up from the Berry youth development squad as cover for the missing squad members. Are those enough excuses for a loss or…?
LPFC U21’s, or Berry Bafana Bafana - as recently renamed in honour of the World Cup - began the contest eagerly, with the Bafana (yes I will be referring to them by this name for the rest of the article) side looking far superior in all aspects of the game. Bafana’s attitude may well have been a key contributor to Pilli’s first goal which came only 10 minutes in when a delicious through ball from team leprechaun Michael Tracey was beautifully finished on the half-volley some 25-yards out by playmaker Matthew Phipps. Woo!
The opening goal seemed to launch Bafana to an even higher class of football, which can be analogously compared as Bafana being Aaron Vom Bruch’s height and River being squeak. At this point it in the match it was even reported that Sportsbet Live had Pilli’s odds at 0.65c to win. This was further ratified when new recruit Daniel Costa scored his very first goal for the club, sending the crowd into ecstasy. In a flowing move Bafana wove their way into Rivers box, when a pass out wide reached Costa, who fired and angled shot low and hard into the old onion bag. However, this was only the beginning of the end for Bafana.
With Bafana still dominating play, River launched a counter down the grandstand flank until Pilli defender Jackson Versitano was ruled to have fouled his opposite man. It was from this set piece which River sent a low and hard shot along the ground under Bafana’s wall, only for interim ‘keeper Matthew Burg to somehow gift River a goal. Some say ground keeping issues are to blame – in which they would be 100% correct.
Bafana’s impressive play soon became interrupted with numerous chances including a Squeak goal ruled offside by the emphysema-bound referee. The end of the half saw Bafana’s luck drift from bad to worse with the referee ruling an alleged pass-back from Versitano to Burg – which many claimed to be a pathetic decision. As the story goes, River scored off a deflection from the indirect free-kick. Though the worst incident of the half followed the goal in the form of the two-carded dismissal of temporary ranga Kurtis Thompson from the game after expressing his emotions to the referee.
The coaching staff then had to focus on calming their side down at the half and focusing on playing a the style they are known for – though now with ten men, and getting the boys head in the right mind frame for the next 45 minutes courtesy of a master class motivational speech from Emily Gilbert.
A reinvigorated Berries side then took to the field and looked to earn there deserved 3 points from the occasion. Both sides maintained a spectacular brand of football in their quest to bag the ever elusive last minute goal, and unfortunately River were the team to break the deadlock to take the lead. 3-2 it was.
This didn’t stop a ten men Bafana side from throwing everything at them. Incredibly, stand-in captain Michael Treacy managed to pull one back for his side after a Phipps free-kick rebounded favourably for ti’ lil’ Irish man. This was Treacy’s first goal for the club and how important it was – with Pilli looking certain to have squeezed a brilliant point from the match.
Though it was not to be for the brave men in green and gold as River shot themselves level with a devlish shot from the edge of the box – gifting themselves a rather undeserved win. As the final whistle was blown Bafan fans remained stunned that at the final result which had rightly robbed of their team of three points.
Friday, June 18, 2010
All Square, Shit Reffing Again
LPFC U21's have missed a golden opportunity to move three points clear of fourth-placed Barden Ridge 1 after a gritty 2-2 draw was played out at Woolooware Oval mid-saturday. A goal each from Pilli midielder Foldi and winger Squeak was enough to see both teams share the spoils in what was a topsy-turvy match.
Fresh from a highly disappointing, yet controversial loss the previous week, Pilli, as well as the Ridgebacks, knew a win would do wonders in securing a top four finish. The corresponding fixture in the previous round had finished in a 1-1 draw. With Kurtis Thompson suspended and Clayden still injured Pilli resorted to the services of their youth squads once again, this time calling up U18's 'keeper Blake and defender Kenny, who together are known as Blenny.
Both sides began the match with an obvious intention to score as quickly as possible and it was to be Barden Ridge who had reason to celebrate first. A freekick was given away to Ridge at approximately 30 yards out, from which they took full advantage by sending a curling ball across a lucklustre Pilli defence who somehow managed to lose all their oppposition - leaving a whole line of beckoning Ridge players clear infront of the Pilli goal. Inevitably the ball was tucked away past a previously solid Blake.
Ridge's goal stunned Pilli, who realised there was a severe lack of communication between each other. Spurred with the defiance to not concede such a weak goal again, Pilli pressed on and were paid their own dividends barely five minutes later.
A lofting Treacy corner flew over almost everyones heads only for Foldi to rush in and smack a right-footed volley at angle into the back of the net to draw his team level. The goal was Foldi's first for the season and boy did he make that obvious - crying out a crackly prepubescent yelp which even Clayden would have been proud of.
The game continued at a balanced pace with both teams having the odd chance on each others goal, though it didn't take long before Pilli had turned the match on its head and shoved another one in there... ;)
A fluid movement from the home side found its way to the feet of striker Squeak who weaved his way between opposition players in their box only to be initially clipped - resulting in cries for a penalty, which were not heeded. Squeak, still with the ball, performed a well timed shimmy as fake as a wog chicks fingernails, to throw his opposing defender off his trail. Closing in on goal the diminutive striker cut back and once again was clipped by a defender - only this time cries for a penalty were heard. Squeak himself stepped up to the plate and comfortably buried his teams first penalty of the season - and possibly the only fair call they have received this season.
The final period of the second half then played out in a rather ordinary fashion, with possible signs of complacency sneaking into Pilli's game. On and off striker Alex Poulos had various chances to put his side further ahead but was shut down like a mother f**ker on each occassion.
After getting a s**t load of orange fibre stuck in between their teeth and the odd absence of an Emily 'Gilbo-baggins' Gilbert's pep talk, Pilli returned to the field for the second half.
Ridge started the second half significantly more brightly than their opposition and had numerous chances to grab an equaliser - which eventually came in the form of their twelfth man.
Pilli defender Daniel 'I'm not Australian' Costa was adjudged to have handled inside the area after an opposition player attempted a cross only for the ball to thump into Costa's compacted arms. Pilli were rightly furious with the referee for calling such a decision with some accussing him of compensating for his small penis and hence his inability to get any action - claiming that even Versitano gets more. As fate would have it, Ridge converted their spot-kick to draw level.
Both sides continued to play out a gritty encounter for the remainder of the second half, though Pilli were weakened by injuries to Clark and Fonseca, who may be out for a number of weeks. Fill in youth 'keeper Blake played out an oustanding game at the senior level - always radiating confidence and producing some critical saves which will surely have Clayden looking behnind his back when he resumes his duties.
In the end, neither side could take all three points on offer, a result which will probably leave both clubs in the same position but now further away from the top two - depending on their results.
Fresh from a highly disappointing, yet controversial loss the previous week, Pilli, as well as the Ridgebacks, knew a win would do wonders in securing a top four finish. The corresponding fixture in the previous round had finished in a 1-1 draw. With Kurtis Thompson suspended and Clayden still injured Pilli resorted to the services of their youth squads once again, this time calling up U18's 'keeper Blake and defender Kenny, who together are known as Blenny.
Both sides began the match with an obvious intention to score as quickly as possible and it was to be Barden Ridge who had reason to celebrate first. A freekick was given away to Ridge at approximately 30 yards out, from which they took full advantage by sending a curling ball across a lucklustre Pilli defence who somehow managed to lose all their oppposition - leaving a whole line of beckoning Ridge players clear infront of the Pilli goal. Inevitably the ball was tucked away past a previously solid Blake.
Ridge's goal stunned Pilli, who realised there was a severe lack of communication between each other. Spurred with the defiance to not concede such a weak goal again, Pilli pressed on and were paid their own dividends barely five minutes later.
A lofting Treacy corner flew over almost everyones heads only for Foldi to rush in and smack a right-footed volley at angle into the back of the net to draw his team level. The goal was Foldi's first for the season and boy did he make that obvious - crying out a crackly prepubescent yelp which even Clayden would have been proud of.
The game continued at a balanced pace with both teams having the odd chance on each others goal, though it didn't take long before Pilli had turned the match on its head and shoved another one in there... ;)
A fluid movement from the home side found its way to the feet of striker Squeak who weaved his way between opposition players in their box only to be initially clipped - resulting in cries for a penalty, which were not heeded. Squeak, still with the ball, performed a well timed shimmy as fake as a wog chicks fingernails, to throw his opposing defender off his trail. Closing in on goal the diminutive striker cut back and once again was clipped by a defender - only this time cries for a penalty were heard. Squeak himself stepped up to the plate and comfortably buried his teams first penalty of the season - and possibly the only fair call they have received this season.
The final period of the second half then played out in a rather ordinary fashion, with possible signs of complacency sneaking into Pilli's game. On and off striker Alex Poulos had various chances to put his side further ahead but was shut down like a mother f**ker on each occassion.
After getting a s**t load of orange fibre stuck in between their teeth and the odd absence of an Emily 'Gilbo-baggins' Gilbert's pep talk, Pilli returned to the field for the second half.
Ridge started the second half significantly more brightly than their opposition and had numerous chances to grab an equaliser - which eventually came in the form of their twelfth man.
Pilli defender Daniel 'I'm not Australian' Costa was adjudged to have handled inside the area after an opposition player attempted a cross only for the ball to thump into Costa's compacted arms. Pilli were rightly furious with the referee for calling such a decision with some accussing him of compensating for his small penis and hence his inability to get any action - claiming that even Versitano gets more. As fate would have it, Ridge converted their spot-kick to draw level.
Both sides continued to play out a gritty encounter for the remainder of the second half, though Pilli were weakened by injuries to Clark and Fonseca, who may be out for a number of weeks. Fill in youth 'keeper Blake played out an oustanding game at the senior level - always radiating confidence and producing some critical saves which will surely have Clayden looking behnind his back when he resumes his duties.
In the end, neither side could take all three points on offer, a result which will probably leave both clubs in the same position but now further away from the top two - depending on their results.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Pilli Seek Vengeance
After two weekends of savage rain which left club grounds as wet as a motherf**ker, and hence unplayable, Pilli FC return to the pitch this saturday against Georges River Tigers - the only team in the comp to have beaten the former. Revenge is on the cards and Pilli will be sure to have an ace up their sleeve as they continue their quest for back-to-back premierships.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Poll: Daniel Costa = Ugly
Daniel Costa has been announced as Pilli's most unnatractive player with a narrow win of 100%. 27 votes were counted, one of which I hear is his own mistress.
Congratulations Daniel, we are all hotter than you.
Yes, I did just google 'ugly'.
Pilli Play Balls...but win
LPFC U21's have scraped through the weekend with an unconvincing win against a 10-man Meani Hawks 2 side, with goals from striker Alex Poulos and midfielder Matthew Phipps enough to seal all three points.
After torrents of rain had pelted hapless Sydneysiders the few days prior, it was thought that the weekly ritual of club football that we all know and love would have been called off. Suffice to say it was not, a discovery made by a very few keen beans who sat at their computers at 7am that morning - finger's furiously tapping away at the refresh button on the club's hompage. As a result of previous downpours, Pilli's match was moved to the Ridge 3, where they would play table-toppers Menai Hawks 2 and where they have already played twice before this season.
Wind was the player's biggest foe on an unusually dry pitch at the Ridge, which was recognised by Pilli who decided to run with the element after winning the toss. Menai's lack of numbers was obvious right from the get-go with Pilli comfortably passing rings around their opposition. That being said, it was a matter of seconds before Pilli put themselves in front against a side which they had expected a particularly difficult game from.
Because I'm writing this blog hell late I can't exactly remember how we scored our first - all I know is that is was a simple tap in from Poulos. For the record he didn't go out the night before, but rather spent till 3am driving around banging bitches. Anyway, the usual thing happened where all our fans went into ecstasy, with the camera man zooming into some little kid crying with pleasure until he realised he was on tv and starting cheering and telling everyone, only to not realise camera men hate when people discover they are being filmed and had already switched frames.
After a suprisngly bright start to the match Pilli continued their attempts to pile on the pressure, but consistently managed to lose the ball in the final play. From here it was pretty much down-hill. Lethargy and complacency slowly bled their way into Pilli's play, for which the wingers may be criticised the most of all for not pulling out wider and making more darting runs. A typical Pilli attack consisted of a centre midfielder dribbling the ball up through the middle only for every other player to bolt forward towads the centre/not even move, leaving the dribbler with either a congested path or no options, respectively.
Time after time Pilli's attacks failed, which was not made easier when the opposition did nothing but clear the ball with a massive kick - slowing the game down to about as fast as William Clayden can run. It didn't come as a suprise that Pilli's next goal was a piece of individual brillance from Phipps. At about 20-yards out, Phipps controlled a bouncing pass beautifully and swept a long gliding ball into the opposite side of the goal - silencing his critics who have recently claimed he's shit.
You'd think that a goal would've aroused a poor PIlli side - it didn't. It was only as matter of time before one of their fustrating attacks was flipped on its back and turned into a rapid counter from Menai. A lost ball on the left wing prompted a Menai defender to lob the ball up to half-way where his teammate rounded sweeper Kurtis Thompson and succesfully placed a ball past fill in 'keeper Matthew Burg - leaving no chance for another now famous 'Burg sheet'.
As the referee blew for the end of the first period, an obviously fustrated Will Clayden was reportedly seen backhanding a female fan.
The second half contained no goals, hence we played just as bad, if not slightly better - probably because of the furious rant we were given by Clayden since he's heaps intimidating.
Pilli's win leaves them a mere one point behind both first-placed Menai and second-placed Barden Ridge 1 - with the season only at the half-way point. Daniel Costa received the game's M.O.M. as he at least showed some sort of enuthusiasm. Pilli's next match comes' at home next week against last-placed Bangor at home. We better win or else I'm gunna hit up Bundeena Maianbar.
After torrents of rain had pelted hapless Sydneysiders the few days prior, it was thought that the weekly ritual of club football that we all know and love would have been called off. Suffice to say it was not, a discovery made by a very few keen beans who sat at their computers at 7am that morning - finger's furiously tapping away at the refresh button on the club's hompage. As a result of previous downpours, Pilli's match was moved to the Ridge 3, where they would play table-toppers Menai Hawks 2 and where they have already played twice before this season.
Wind was the player's biggest foe on an unusually dry pitch at the Ridge, which was recognised by Pilli who decided to run with the element after winning the toss. Menai's lack of numbers was obvious right from the get-go with Pilli comfortably passing rings around their opposition. That being said, it was a matter of seconds before Pilli put themselves in front against a side which they had expected a particularly difficult game from.
Because I'm writing this blog hell late I can't exactly remember how we scored our first - all I know is that is was a simple tap in from Poulos. For the record he didn't go out the night before, but rather spent till 3am driving around banging bitches. Anyway, the usual thing happened where all our fans went into ecstasy, with the camera man zooming into some little kid crying with pleasure until he realised he was on tv and starting cheering and telling everyone, only to not realise camera men hate when people discover they are being filmed and had already switched frames.
After a suprisngly bright start to the match Pilli continued their attempts to pile on the pressure, but consistently managed to lose the ball in the final play. From here it was pretty much down-hill. Lethargy and complacency slowly bled their way into Pilli's play, for which the wingers may be criticised the most of all for not pulling out wider and making more darting runs. A typical Pilli attack consisted of a centre midfielder dribbling the ball up through the middle only for every other player to bolt forward towads the centre/not even move, leaving the dribbler with either a congested path or no options, respectively.
Time after time Pilli's attacks failed, which was not made easier when the opposition did nothing but clear the ball with a massive kick - slowing the game down to about as fast as William Clayden can run. It didn't come as a suprise that Pilli's next goal was a piece of individual brillance from Phipps. At about 20-yards out, Phipps controlled a bouncing pass beautifully and swept a long gliding ball into the opposite side of the goal - silencing his critics who have recently claimed he's shit.
You'd think that a goal would've aroused a poor PIlli side - it didn't. It was only as matter of time before one of their fustrating attacks was flipped on its back and turned into a rapid counter from Menai. A lost ball on the left wing prompted a Menai defender to lob the ball up to half-way where his teammate rounded sweeper Kurtis Thompson and succesfully placed a ball past fill in 'keeper Matthew Burg - leaving no chance for another now famous 'Burg sheet'.
As the referee blew for the end of the first period, an obviously fustrated Will Clayden was reportedly seen backhanding a female fan.
The second half contained no goals, hence we played just as bad, if not slightly better - probably because of the furious rant we were given by Clayden since he's heaps intimidating.
Pilli's win leaves them a mere one point behind both first-placed Menai and second-placed Barden Ridge 1 - with the season only at the half-way point. Daniel Costa received the game's M.O.M. as he at least showed some sort of enuthusiasm. Pilli's next match comes' at home next week against last-placed Bangor at home. We better win or else I'm gunna hit up Bundeena Maianbar.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Working in Treacy's Favour
Pilli 1 Irish midfielder Michael Treacy has runaway with the title for...running. Treacy won the majority vote with a 44 percentile, leaving Fynn second (17%) and Poulos third (14%) in his wake. Some say Treacy rigged the voting, although this is others say this is highly unlikely given the amount of friends the player has...I love saying 'some say, other say' in an attempt to avoid getting into Treacy's bad books.
Congratulations Michael 'Phar Lap' Treacy.
Everyone call him that now.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Rubbish Ridge Get Fucked Over By Pilli
Excuse the french...
Pilli have come out victors after a rugged affair with a particularly physical Barden Ridge 1 side, winning the match 1 - 0. A single goal from Matthew Phipps was enough to see his team through a match shrouded with controversy - mainly to do with whether or not the referee had dyed his eyebrows.
Pilli arrived to the fixture without the services of Costa, Clayden and Clark - or as everyone likes to call them - 'The 3 Muskateers". Jokes, no one calls them that! Heaps-funny-jokes-that-will-get-me-so-many-chicks aside, Pilli were fortunate enough to to have the likes of striker Alex Poulos and team manwh...defender Kurtis Thompson cleared of any injury. Replacing the unavailable players were Thompson Jr, Foldi Jr. and Phipps Jr. - all from Pilli's U18 youth squad. I purposely didn't mention you weren't playing Squeak since it would've ruined the whole muskateer thing.
The match began in the most unusual of fashion when the referee assembled both teams on a completely different field as to which they were scheduled to play on. The ethnic ref then went on to say something about how he probably has no life other than reffing D-grade football and how his mail-order wife makes the best tasting kebabs. No I'm not making generalisations.
Weirdness aside, Pilli began the match with the wind in their favour. Both teams took a while to settle and then ease into the game. Pre-match, Pilli had already discussed their plan to stay level-headed due to the referees' by-the-book reputation and they remained true to their strategy - though much less can be said about their opposition.
Ridge players constantly tried to bully their way to the ball and more often than not were not pulled up by a referee who seemed to be more interested in disciplining the sideline than the players themselves. One one particular occasion male model Fonseca tackled the shit out of one Ridge player, only for the faggot to try and stomp his tackler while on the floor. There was blood everywhere.
Nevertheless, Pilli remained defiant against their oppositions' dirty play and managed to grab the first, and what was to be the only goal late into the first half. Left winger Stephen Foldi sent a neat pass to Healey who was positioned about 30-yards out from goal. In amongst this move, a tenacious Matthew Phipps sped along past Healey who dinked a perfectly weighted through-ball over the defenders fat heads. Still running, Phipps controlled the ball and took a shot only for the oppositions 'keeper to block the attempt and send the ball straight back to the midfielder who made no haste in tucking away the second opportunity. After this Phipps pretty much had a shit game...LOL jks Phippsy you had a good game, don't get all sero at me.
Renewed, Pilli continued going forward against a relentlessly physical Ridge side. On on ocassion Fonseca let loose a curling left footed strike which looked promising, only to be caught well by the opposition 'keeper. Though, one of the best chances in the match went begging after striker and last week's hattrick hero Alex Poulos made a mess of a one-on-one situation with the Ridge 'keeper - maybe the suspicious stamp on his right forearm reading 'RnBSuperclub' was the reason for such a miss, or maybe it's just the fact he said to me pre-game 'omg man I've never been so drunk in my life as I was last night'...but those are just theories.
The second period began much like the first and sprouted no real golden opportunities although Ridges' controversial tactics ensued - the most serious occuring when Foldi Jr. was hacked down in his own-half, with Ridge refusing to kick the ball out and then one of their players calling out in 'hope' that the Pilli youths' leg was 'broken'. An example of this Ridge players haircut is shown below.
Enough said.
Matthew Burg continued to shine in between the sticks with another imperial performance and a second clean sheet along with it. The Pilli fill-in 'keeper caught opposition crosses and shots with breathless ease, seemingly like it was all routine. Burg also produced an incredibly important save late in the second half which would've almost certainly resulted in a Ridge goal without his intervention.
Jacob Healey, Michael Treacy and defender Jackson Versitano should also be commended on impressive performances. Healey often controlled the midfield with is pin-point passing, which earned him the prestigious man-of-the-match award. Last week's MOM Versitano used his build to good effect as he remained vigilant in the face of the tough-tackling opposition, while also constantly tracking back with his man. Treacy lived up to his probably-rigged title win of 'Team workhorse' and never gave up, sometimes even winning the headers against opposition who were probably worth 4-squeaks up on the squeak-scale.
Anywho, once the referee blew for time Pilli fans cheered in delight for their teams solid win - one which will possibly leave them within one point of the top of the table, a ranking which may well be swapped after next weeks exciting clash with Menai Hawks 2. Also, below I have posted this weeks referee's number plate and car model so do what you want with it, it's probably illegal I know but I'm willing to do time for this team such is my committment. And no I didn't actively seek these details out, the little chode was leaving as I was getting into my car.
Pilli have come out victors after a rugged affair with a particularly physical Barden Ridge 1 side, winning the match 1 - 0. A single goal from Matthew Phipps was enough to see his team through a match shrouded with controversy - mainly to do with whether or not the referee had dyed his eyebrows.
Pilli arrived to the fixture without the services of Costa, Clayden and Clark - or as everyone likes to call them - 'The 3 Muskateers". Jokes, no one calls them that! Heaps-funny-jokes-that-will-get-me-so-many-chicks aside, Pilli were fortunate enough to to have the likes of striker Alex Poulos and team manwh...defender Kurtis Thompson cleared of any injury. Replacing the unavailable players were Thompson Jr, Foldi Jr. and Phipps Jr. - all from Pilli's U18 youth squad. I purposely didn't mention you weren't playing Squeak since it would've ruined the whole muskateer thing.
The match began in the most unusual of fashion when the referee assembled both teams on a completely different field as to which they were scheduled to play on. The ethnic ref then went on to say something about how he probably has no life other than reffing D-grade football and how his mail-order wife makes the best tasting kebabs. No I'm not making generalisations.
Weirdness aside, Pilli began the match with the wind in their favour. Both teams took a while to settle and then ease into the game. Pre-match, Pilli had already discussed their plan to stay level-headed due to the referees' by-the-book reputation and they remained true to their strategy - though much less can be said about their opposition.
Ridge players constantly tried to bully their way to the ball and more often than not were not pulled up by a referee who seemed to be more interested in disciplining the sideline than the players themselves. One one particular occasion male model Fonseca tackled the shit out of one Ridge player, only for the faggot to try and stomp his tackler while on the floor. There was blood everywhere.
Nevertheless, Pilli remained defiant against their oppositions' dirty play and managed to grab the first, and what was to be the only goal late into the first half. Left winger Stephen Foldi sent a neat pass to Healey who was positioned about 30-yards out from goal. In amongst this move, a tenacious Matthew Phipps sped along past Healey who dinked a perfectly weighted through-ball over the defenders fat heads. Still running, Phipps controlled the ball and took a shot only for the oppositions 'keeper to block the attempt and send the ball straight back to the midfielder who made no haste in tucking away the second opportunity. After this Phipps pretty much had a shit game...LOL jks Phippsy you had a good game, don't get all sero at me.
Renewed, Pilli continued going forward against a relentlessly physical Ridge side. On on ocassion Fonseca let loose a curling left footed strike which looked promising, only to be caught well by the opposition 'keeper. Though, one of the best chances in the match went begging after striker and last week's hattrick hero Alex Poulos made a mess of a one-on-one situation with the Ridge 'keeper - maybe the suspicious stamp on his right forearm reading 'RnBSuperclub' was the reason for such a miss, or maybe it's just the fact he said to me pre-game 'omg man I've never been so drunk in my life as I was last night'...but those are just theories.
The second period began much like the first and sprouted no real golden opportunities although Ridges' controversial tactics ensued - the most serious occuring when Foldi Jr. was hacked down in his own-half, with Ridge refusing to kick the ball out and then one of their players calling out in 'hope' that the Pilli youths' leg was 'broken'. An example of this Ridge players haircut is shown below.
Enough said.
Matthew Burg continued to shine in between the sticks with another imperial performance and a second clean sheet along with it. The Pilli fill-in 'keeper caught opposition crosses and shots with breathless ease, seemingly like it was all routine. Burg also produced an incredibly important save late in the second half which would've almost certainly resulted in a Ridge goal without his intervention.
Jacob Healey, Michael Treacy and defender Jackson Versitano should also be commended on impressive performances. Healey often controlled the midfield with is pin-point passing, which earned him the prestigious man-of-the-match award. Last week's MOM Versitano used his build to good effect as he remained vigilant in the face of the tough-tackling opposition, while also constantly tracking back with his man. Treacy lived up to his probably-rigged title win of 'Team workhorse' and never gave up, sometimes even winning the headers against opposition who were probably worth 4-squeaks up on the squeak-scale.
Anywho, once the referee blew for time Pilli fans cheered in delight for their teams solid win - one which will possibly leave them within one point of the top of the table, a ranking which may well be swapped after next weeks exciting clash with Menai Hawks 2. Also, below I have posted this weeks referee's number plate and car model so do what you want with it, it's probably illegal I know but I'm willing to do time for this team such is my committment. And no I didn't actively seek these details out, the little chode was leaving as I was getting into my car.
XYT 567 Mitsubishi Verada
=]
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Extended World Cup Squad Announced, No Pilli Players Make the Cut
The Australian extended world cup squad has been announced. The announcement, which comprises of 31 players, shockingly does not include a single LPFC U21's player. Prior to the announcement Pilli midfielder, £25 million-man Jacob Healey and 'keeper Will Clayden were thought to be a certainties, while defenders Fynn and Costa were dubbed as having an outside chance to represent the national team. Critics had even gone so far as to say Clayden, even after suffering a knee dislocation ruling him out for 2 or more months, would still be a key squad member due to the immense level of commitment he often displays. They then went on to say 'jokes, Clayden is a heaps shit goalkeeper compared to Mark Schwarzer'.
However, if a Pilli had been chosen in Verbeeks' squad it would've been likely LPFC to have turned him down due the club's current injury crisis and top-of-the table clash with Barden Ridgebacks 1 this weekend. Devoed.
Australia: Michael Beauchamp, Mark Bresciano, Tim Cahill, Nicky Carle, David Carney, Scott Chipperfield, Jason Culina, Brett Emerton, Adam Federici, Eugene Galekovic, Richard Garcia, Vince Grella, James Holland, Brett Holman, Mile Jedinak, Brad Jones, Josh Kennedy, Harry Kewell, Shane Lowry, Scott McDonald, Mark Milligan, Craig Moore, Lucas Neill, Jade North, Tommy Oar, Nikita Rukavytsya, Mark Schwarzer, Carl Valeri, Dario Vidosic, Luke Wilkshire, Rhys Williams
However, if a Pilli had been chosen in Verbeeks' squad it would've been likely LPFC to have turned him down due the club's current injury crisis and top-of-the table clash with Barden Ridgebacks 1 this weekend. Devoed.
Australia: Michael Beauchamp, Mark Bresciano, Tim Cahill, Nicky Carle, David Carney, Scott Chipperfield, Jason Culina, Brett Emerton, Adam Federici, Eugene Galekovic, Richard Garcia, Vince Grella, James Holland, Brett Holman, Mile Jedinak, Brad Jones, Josh Kennedy, Harry Kewell, Shane Lowry, Scott McDonald, Mark Milligan, Craig Moore, Lucas Neill, Jade North, Tommy Oar, Nikita Rukavytsya, Mark Schwarzer, Carl Valeri, Dario Vidosic, Luke Wilkshire, Rhys Williams
Monday, May 10, 2010
Mark Missing Berrie Dome?
It has been reported former Pilli Captain and current Accrington Town player Mark Andersson may make a return to LPFC as soon as next season. The player is reportedly suffering from acute homesickness but wishes to fulfill at least one season at his new club in England before making a return to his former stomping ground that is the Berrie Dome. Andersson shocked the nation when he opted to switch leagues earlier this year, a move that hurt many Pilli fans. It remains to be seen whether they will accept their former captain back, though it is expected the squad will welcome him back with open arms....and a f%&king massive party.
Report: Injuries Galore at the Berrie Dome
ESPNsoccernet claim LPFC U21's are suffering an injury crisis, with some players in a desperate race against the clock to be fit for their next match on Saturday. Defenders Paul Clark, Kurtis Thompson and top goalscorer Alex Poulos are all said to be half-chances to make an appearance against the Ridgebacks this weekend. Additionally, Daniel Costa has already been ruled out of Pilli's next fixture after being given special consideration by the club for an unknown period of time. Long-term injury Will Clayden is also ruled out unless he is outrageously committed. This leaves Pilli facing the Ridgebacks with a nine-man squad on Saturday - though it is possible some youth or reserve players will be handed debut performances in an attempt to avert the crisis.
Healey Under Control
Attacking midfielder Jacob Healey has romped his way to the title of 'player with the best ball control' with a 44% majority vote - of which he claims he didn't even vote for himself. Healey's closest competitor came in the form of William Clayden who racked up a 20% slice of the votes. Versitano, Treacy and Poulos came in equal third with three votes each.
Congratulations Jacob 'junior ronaldinho@hotmail.com' Healey.
Congratulations Jacob 'junior ronaldinho@hotmail.com' Healey.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Where There's No Will There's a Way...to get a cleansheet.
LPFC U21's have finally had their bed linen returned from the dry-cleaners(probably asian-owned) with a resounding 3 - 0 win at home against a plucky Meani Hawks 1 side. Pilli striker Alex Poulos walked away with the match ball (which was already ours anyway) after scoring an immaculate hat-trick and lifting his side to a four-match unbeaten run.
Initially, Pilli began the day knowing they would be down three players - Clayden, Phipps and Treacy - due to injury, work and vacation respectively, meaning the bench would be cut down to just one. Staff were given further reason for concern when frontman Poulos made contact and said he was 'stuck in traffic' - which happens to alot of professional footballers these days. What've we all learnt from that? Live in the Shire.
Thankfully, Poulos arrived just in time and a further boost to team morale came in the unlikely form of Phipps, who was racing back from Smithfield (wtf) to participate in the match. Midfielder Matthew Burg stood between the sticks, filling in for the injured Clayden who was watching from the stands. All seemed well and just as the gap-toothed referee managed to blow his whistle to signal the start of the game.
Both teams began brightly, showing an obvious hunger for the ball. As the half progressed Menai displayed aerial prowess while Pilli dominated the ground play with some skilful dribbling and passing from their apparently good-looking midfielder Jacob Healey. Pilli's defence withstood a barrage of Menai attacks, holding firm in the face of some hulk reminiscent opposition. Though it was not until later in the half where Pilli saw their hard work pay its dividends.
A rapid, powerful run from head-band sporting midfielder Stephen Foldi payed off as he latched onto a through ball down the left flank and sent a wicked left-footed shot across goal, forcing the Menai 'keeper into a save, only for Poulos to react immediately to tuck the ball away in what was a true poacher's goal.
Trouble arose when Pilli left-back Paul Clark went down trying to tackle opposition and had to be carried off the field - leaving Pilli with no reserves. As the half drew to a close Pilli continued to work well, especially down the right wing with Daniel Costa sending numerous crosses in. Though, Poulos' tap-in was the only goal of the half as the referee signalled for half-time.
Both teams returned to the field looking rejuvinated and ready to commence the final half. Those oranges were so good.
It was barely five minutes in when Poulos grabbed his second - and what a confusngly incredible goal it was. After receiving a pass crossfield, the striker worked his way down the right side of the 18-yard box and fired a dipping half-volley goal-wards. Everyone remained silent, not knowing whether to cheer or continue with a goal kick - frankly no one knew it had gone in. The ball appeared to have hit the side netting and run along it on the outerside - only when Foldi ran into the goal area to check the balls position, screaming 'it went in!' (lol) to confirm the feat did the crowd burst into delerium and the referee blow for a goal. Alex, I'd just like you to know I never doubted you...
The game resumed with Pilli two ahead, returning to its normal pace though, with an additional air of suprise. Menai didn't have to wait long until Poulos again conjured up another magical goal. With his back to goal and 20-yards out, the striker twisted and turned, weaving away from his markers to send an extremely cheeky and skillfull chip over the 'keepers head and Pilli fans into raptures. It was later to be revealed that the player had not gone out the night before like every other game. Moral of the story: sacrificing the strip club for your team is always a good move.
Menai had it all to do with Pilli cruising three goals ahead. Nonetheless, there were still around 25 minutes left on the clock for Pilli to wind down and it should be credited to Menai that they ran it through to the final whistle, going close a few times only for a majestic display from stand-in 'keeper Burg to keep his side safe. Burg's timing throughout the match was split-second perfect, not to mention his safe hands. Lanky Pilli centre-half Daniel Fynn also put on both a brilliant aerial and ground performance, remaining quite sturdy throughout the entire match. Versitano also managed a good display and his development is becoming more obvious every week. It has to be said, midfielder Phipps and striker Squeaks' impact on the game were less than usual, hence their apparent absence was easily noticed - especially with the countless number of times Squeak was caught offside.
Pilli finished the game with 10 players after hat-trick hero Poulos was forced to leave the pitch injured - a worrying sign after Clark's departure.
Pilli's next fixture comes all the way in frikin' Barden Ridge against Barden Risdebacks 1. More news on this games' injuries to come so fingers crossed we don't have anymore dislocated knees because quite frankly, we don't kneed anymore of this (pun defintley intended, since it's heaps funny).
Initially, Pilli began the day knowing they would be down three players - Clayden, Phipps and Treacy - due to injury, work and vacation respectively, meaning the bench would be cut down to just one. Staff were given further reason for concern when frontman Poulos made contact and said he was 'stuck in traffic' - which happens to alot of professional footballers these days. What've we all learnt from that? Live in the Shire.
Thankfully, Poulos arrived just in time and a further boost to team morale came in the unlikely form of Phipps, who was racing back from Smithfield (wtf) to participate in the match. Midfielder Matthew Burg stood between the sticks, filling in for the injured Clayden who was watching from the stands. All seemed well and just as the gap-toothed referee managed to blow his whistle to signal the start of the game.
Both teams began brightly, showing an obvious hunger for the ball. As the half progressed Menai displayed aerial prowess while Pilli dominated the ground play with some skilful dribbling and passing from their apparently good-looking midfielder Jacob Healey. Pilli's defence withstood a barrage of Menai attacks, holding firm in the face of some hulk reminiscent opposition. Though it was not until later in the half where Pilli saw their hard work pay its dividends.
A rapid, powerful run from head-band sporting midfielder Stephen Foldi payed off as he latched onto a through ball down the left flank and sent a wicked left-footed shot across goal, forcing the Menai 'keeper into a save, only for Poulos to react immediately to tuck the ball away in what was a true poacher's goal.
Trouble arose when Pilli left-back Paul Clark went down trying to tackle opposition and had to be carried off the field - leaving Pilli with no reserves. As the half drew to a close Pilli continued to work well, especially down the right wing with Daniel Costa sending numerous crosses in. Though, Poulos' tap-in was the only goal of the half as the referee signalled for half-time.
Both teams returned to the field looking rejuvinated and ready to commence the final half. Those oranges were so good.
It was barely five minutes in when Poulos grabbed his second - and what a confusngly incredible goal it was. After receiving a pass crossfield, the striker worked his way down the right side of the 18-yard box and fired a dipping half-volley goal-wards. Everyone remained silent, not knowing whether to cheer or continue with a goal kick - frankly no one knew it had gone in. The ball appeared to have hit the side netting and run along it on the outerside - only when Foldi ran into the goal area to check the balls position, screaming 'it went in!' (lol) to confirm the feat did the crowd burst into delerium and the referee blow for a goal. Alex, I'd just like you to know I never doubted you...
The game resumed with Pilli two ahead, returning to its normal pace though, with an additional air of suprise. Menai didn't have to wait long until Poulos again conjured up another magical goal. With his back to goal and 20-yards out, the striker twisted and turned, weaving away from his markers to send an extremely cheeky and skillfull chip over the 'keepers head and Pilli fans into raptures. It was later to be revealed that the player had not gone out the night before like every other game. Moral of the story: sacrificing the strip club for your team is always a good move.
Menai had it all to do with Pilli cruising three goals ahead. Nonetheless, there were still around 25 minutes left on the clock for Pilli to wind down and it should be credited to Menai that they ran it through to the final whistle, going close a few times only for a majestic display from stand-in 'keeper Burg to keep his side safe. Burg's timing throughout the match was split-second perfect, not to mention his safe hands. Lanky Pilli centre-half Daniel Fynn also put on both a brilliant aerial and ground performance, remaining quite sturdy throughout the entire match. Versitano also managed a good display and his development is becoming more obvious every week. It has to be said, midfielder Phipps and striker Squeaks' impact on the game were less than usual, hence their apparent absence was easily noticed - especially with the countless number of times Squeak was caught offside.
Pilli finished the game with 10 players after hat-trick hero Poulos was forced to leave the pitch injured - a worrying sign after Clark's departure.
Pilli's next fixture comes all the way in frikin' Barden Ridge against Barden Risdebacks 1. More news on this games' injuries to come so fingers crossed we don't have anymore dislocated knees because quite frankly, we don't kneed anymore of this (pun defintley intended, since it's heaps funny).
Friday, May 7, 2010
OFFICIAL: Clayden Suffers Serious Injury
Speculative reports claiming a season-ending injury to Pilli first choice 'keeper William Clayden have been confirmed (I honestly didn't think he'd be out for that long so I went ahead and did the whole sensationalised story thing :S). The club have released a statement on the incident. 'Clayden has suffered a dislocated knee cap during monday nights training session. It is possible Clayden ill out for a possible 2 to 3 months.'
The player himself spoke exclusivley to the blog earlier today - 'unfortunately my run of bad luck has continued, but im staying optomistic about the injury and hope to be prove the medical staff wrong with an earlier return.'
When asked about how he thinks LPFC will fair without him in goals, Clayden remained positive - '[my absence] means we are losing depth in the midfield as it apears Burg will have to fill in for me, but I still think we can challenge for a finals berth.'
Some may view the news as a devastating blow for the squad, though others may revel in finally being able to possibly hold a clean sheet - though everyones mainly heaps devoed. LPFC U21's have had a turbulent last 4 weeks with the walking out of Daniel Fletcher (woof) back to his former club, reports of an unsettled Poulos and now this. Additionally, both Treacy and Phipps have been ruled out of tomorrows match leaving no reserves and me having to play a full game after almost dying of illness. F*%king hell.
The player himself spoke exclusivley to the blog earlier today - 'unfortunately my run of bad luck has continued, but im staying optomistic about the injury and hope to be prove the medical staff wrong with an earlier return.'
When asked about how he thinks LPFC will fair without him in goals, Clayden remained positive - '[my absence] means we are losing depth in the midfield as it apears Burg will have to fill in for me, but I still think we can challenge for a finals berth.'
Some may view the news as a devastating blow for the squad, though others may revel in finally being able to possibly hold a clean sheet - though everyones mainly heaps devoed. LPFC U21's have had a turbulent last 4 weeks with the walking out of Daniel Fletcher (woof) back to his former club, reports of an unsettled Poulos and now this. Additionally, both Treacy and Phipps have been ruled out of tomorrows match leaving no reserves and me having to play a full game after almost dying of illness. F*%king hell.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Report: Pilli 'Keeper Out for the Season?
Shock claims have emerged regarding Pilli first choice shot-stopper William Clayden - with some papers reporting the Schwarzer prodigy has sustained a season-ending injury during a recent training session. Details remain as fuzzy as your mums muff but it is speculated that the player has done damage to the most complicated articulation in the human body *cue dramatic video of that random squirrel on youtube* - the knee. News of the World has even gone so far as to state the player underwent a near-death experience and has now started to give money away to his friends and the writer of this blog. He hasn't.
More knews to follow on an incident that could have a disastrous impact on Pilli's team morale and hence title challenge.
More knews to follow on an incident that could have a disastrous impact on Pilli's team morale and hence title challenge.
Pilli Blog Reaches 1000 Views!
The Pilli blog oficially reached the 1000 page load mark and 900 unique views this week - a tally which has kept on rising. As a result, I am considering selling it to google or microsoft for a ridiculous amount of money cuz thats what seems the 'in' thing to do these days. Also, I will now go forth into the public arena with expectations that one in every twenty thousand Aussies will recognise me and ask for an autograph - which for females will be preferably in or around the chesticle area. Oh, almost forgot to thank you guys - the fans - because after all this wouldn't have been possible without you guys...well it actually wouldn't have been possible without me either so essentially its a chicken-egg scenario but meh, I'll be cliche this one time. Kk, I'm gonna go now and buy a new bed and pillow which'll fit my massive new head and ego...along with other abnormally large things...e.g. my nose. lol tricked you guys!
P.S. There have been anonymous complaints as to whether people are taking the poll seriously or not (from Jacob). So take it seriously or Jacob will bash you.
P.S. There have been anonymous complaints as to whether people are taking the poll seriously or not (from Jacob). So take it seriously or Jacob will bash you.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
So Berry Close
Lilli Pilli U21 1's will feel partly aggreived after coming out with only a 1-1 draw against fellow rivals Lilli Pilli 2's. Goals came from either side of the halves as both teams went head to head in what turned out to be a dogged affair at the near-swamp locale that is Woolloware High Oval.
The match began in gloomy-skies, with Pilli 1's donning the unfimiliar purple-coloured third kit. Pilli 1's commenced brightly, displaying confident and well structured passing. Though, this seemed to gradually patter out until around 10 minutes in when it became drowned out by the raw physicality of a clearly older and more experienced Pilli 2 side.
As the half continued Pilli 1's had the better of chances - creating them predominantely down the wings, though none were meant to be and as the half drew to a close a point blank miss from Fonseca summed up the first half.
The match began in gloomy-skies, with Pilli 1's donning the unfimiliar purple-coloured third kit. Pilli 1's commenced brightly, displaying confident and well structured passing. Though, this seemed to gradually patter out until around 10 minutes in when it became drowned out by the raw physicality of a clearly older and more experienced Pilli 2 side.
As the half continued Pilli 1's had the better of chances - creating them predominantely down the wings, though none were meant to be and as the half drew to a close a point blank miss from Fonseca summed up the first half.
The second half started where the first left off - with Pilli 1's yet to settle into the Arsenal-esque playing style they well known for. It was not until a few minutes in when the first goal creared its ugly head. Pilli 2's sent a curling indirect freekick straight into the box, which bounced lazily infront of the goal mouth only to be tapped home by a Pilli 2 player. NoW, I'm not goIng to name any names or put the bLame on any specific player but instead just say the goal was due to bad Luck...In truth it was a rather pathetic goal and will give coach Dan Andersson a focal point for the next training session.
The opening goal seemed to have rattled Pilli 1's players and re-awakened them to the stark reality that a win was now two goals away. Pilli 1's mood seemed to have lifted as they heartily battled away, constantly chiselling away at the oppositions defensive line - only for them to strike the ball way back towards Clayden. On the odd occassions where Pilli 2's did create a chance, Fynn and Thompson held firm - allowing minimal penetration and always cumming out on top.
The first half also saw Phipps send a lofted free-kick float over the cross bar and one-on-one chance scuffed by Fonseca after an immaculate through-ball from Daniel Costa. Recent signing Michael Treacy played well - adding an extra dimension to Pilli's passing upfront - filling in for a once-again absent Poulos. Midfield maestro Jacob Healey displayed glimpses of his 24 million pound price tag - sending some perfectly weighted through-balls which unforunately often came to nothing (mmm really trying hard to sound like you played well, jokes jacob you're a really good player and all the girls reckon your hot n shit).
The all-important breakthrough came around the 75-minute mark -sending Pilli 1 fans into raptures. Heaps sexy striker Fonseca manged to lose the ball mid-park, only to reclaim it and skip past an opposition player, where he then sent a cute through-ball onto to Phipps who controlled it beautifully and smashed it home from outside the box on the half volley.
The second goal of the game provided a massive boost for the away side who seemed determined on pushing for the crucial winning goal. Though it was not meant to be and the half wound down - the final whistle blowing for time. Pilli's next fixture is up against Meani Hawks 1 - who up until recently had led the table. And soz for the late post, my throat hurts like a bitch.
Kurtis Thompson Voted Team Manwhore
Kurtis Thompson has been voted the most likely LPFC U21 player to sleep with a teammates' ex girlfriend - winning with 12/30 votes.
Congratulation Kurtis.
Congratulation Kurtis.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Will Clayden Voted Best Goalkeeper in the World
William Clayden has been voted as the best goalkeeper in the world after facing competition as stiff as ____ from the likes of Pepe Reina, Mark Schwarzer and last but not least Mark Anderssson - scoring a 43% majority vote.
Congratulations Will.
Congratulations Will.
Berries Swoop Magpies For Three Points
LPFC U21's have claimed a deserved three points over Miranda Magpies 1 with a 3-2 win at home to a record crowd - thrusting the team up into the top four (at least I think so). A brilliant brace from Squeak coupled with a well finished penalty from midfielder Matthew Phipps was enough to seal the win in what were very temperate conditions.
A squad fresh from what seems like one of the most shocking scandals in footballing history - since captain Steven Foldi revealed he thought the term 'fish fingers' actually meant pieces of deep fried fish fillets -lined up against a decent looking Miranda outfit, with only two players to spare.
The game started well enough with Pilli controlling the ball neatly which caused a fustrated Miranda side to concede an early penalty. Squeak Psarras, playing in a more advanced position than normal, ran onto a though-ball down the right flank and into the box where a particularly aggressive opposition player came in with a flying kick to the head and was judged to not have won the ball. Free kick king Phipps promptly lined up the shot and tucked it into the old onion bag with ease. Pilli 1, Miranda 0. The crowd went wild.
The game continued to sway Pilli's way with brilliant displays from the backline - namely Paul Clarke, who consistently won the ball for his team, and Jackson Versitano who putt to bed rumours that he had sustained a serious injury the previous match. It wasnt long until Pilli doubled their lead on the 19 minute 23 second mark. Another well worked play from the back sent a lofting ball from the right flank into the center of the 18-yard box, onl for a miscued Miranda clearance to land straight to the feet of little man Squeak who took a few light touches and slammed, thrusted, pounded, drilled and hammered the ball home off the cross bar to send the crowd into ecstacy. 2-0 Pilli's way.
As the half came to a close there were numerous chances for both sides, with the centre midfield of Jacob Healey and now Squeak working well with strikers Burg and Fonseca, the latter of which had two great opportunities to put Pilli further infront, but decided he didn't want the title of top goalscorer as he's just that type of a nice and selfless guy...with massive biceps, (ladies, once again I am available on facebook).
Pilli two up at half time it wasn't meant to be as Miranda struck back right on the 45 minute mark. An outward curling corner was cleared off the top of a Pilli player only for it to fall nicely for a Magpies player who sent a flying half volley into Claydens left side - a decent goal I must admit (who won but?). And so the half finished Pilli up by one goal.
The second half began particularly more brightly than the first and it was barely 2.345 minutes (approximately) young - still with blood from the mothers womb - when Pilli struck for their third an what was to be final goal. After an initial rapid one-two exchange of passes between rat-tail wearing right-back Daniel Costa and Fonseca (whoa, forgot to insert my standard godly-like adjective in before my name), Costa pinged the pall down the left flank for Damien 'too-sexy-for-his-shirt-so-much-it-hurts' Fonseca (there we go) to open up the play and send cute cross into Burg who glanced it onto an onrushing Squeak, firing the ball low and hard into the 'keepers right corner. Apologies for the use of the entirely necessary brackets.
Pilli seemed to be crusing, often holding posession with a string of neat passes. The teams' wing players seemed to form a solid understanding of eachother - between both Costa and Fonseca and Treacey and Clarke - resulting in a beautiful shot from Costa only for the opposition 'keeper to pull off a stunning save to deny the wing-back his first professional career goal for Pilli (again, who won?). Not to be left out is William Clayden, who made various important saves to keep Pilli infront, namely a near post save. Unfortuanate as it is, Versitano managed to topple an opposition player in the penalty box which resulted in the games' second spot-kick, which was placed away neatly by a Magpie player against their former 'keeper.
This late penalty served as a somewhat revival for the opposition, though an unlikely draw was not to be as Pilli clinched their second win of the season (Woo hoo) after the referee blew for time. Pilli now face their own club next week in what promises to be an exciting local derby. Details are listed in the fixture panel to the right hand side.
A squad fresh from what seems like one of the most shocking scandals in footballing history - since captain Steven Foldi revealed he thought the term 'fish fingers' actually meant pieces of deep fried fish fillets -lined up against a decent looking Miranda outfit, with only two players to spare.
The game started well enough with Pilli controlling the ball neatly which caused a fustrated Miranda side to concede an early penalty. Squeak Psarras, playing in a more advanced position than normal, ran onto a though-ball down the right flank and into the box where a particularly aggressive opposition player came in with a flying kick to the head and was judged to not have won the ball. Free kick king Phipps promptly lined up the shot and tucked it into the old onion bag with ease. Pilli 1, Miranda 0. The crowd went wild.
The game continued to sway Pilli's way with brilliant displays from the backline - namely Paul Clarke, who consistently won the ball for his team, and Jackson Versitano who putt to bed rumours that he had sustained a serious injury the previous match. It wasnt long until Pilli doubled their lead on the 19 minute 23 second mark. Another well worked play from the back sent a lofting ball from the right flank into the center of the 18-yard box, onl for a miscued Miranda clearance to land straight to the feet of little man Squeak who took a few light touches and slammed, thrusted, pounded, drilled and hammered the ball home off the cross bar to send the crowd into ecstacy. 2-0 Pilli's way.
As the half came to a close there were numerous chances for both sides, with the centre midfield of Jacob Healey and now Squeak working well with strikers Burg and Fonseca, the latter of which had two great opportunities to put Pilli further infront, but decided he didn't want the title of top goalscorer as he's just that type of a nice and selfless guy...with massive biceps, (ladies, once again I am available on facebook).
Pilli two up at half time it wasn't meant to be as Miranda struck back right on the 45 minute mark. An outward curling corner was cleared off the top of a Pilli player only for it to fall nicely for a Magpies player who sent a flying half volley into Claydens left side - a decent goal I must admit (who won but?). And so the half finished Pilli up by one goal.
The second half began particularly more brightly than the first and it was barely 2.345 minutes (approximately) young - still with blood from the mothers womb - when Pilli struck for their third an what was to be final goal. After an initial rapid one-two exchange of passes between rat-tail wearing right-back Daniel Costa and Fonseca (whoa, forgot to insert my standard godly-like adjective in before my name), Costa pinged the pall down the left flank for Damien 'too-sexy-for-his-shirt-so-much-it-hurts' Fonseca (there we go) to open up the play and send cute cross into Burg who glanced it onto an onrushing Squeak, firing the ball low and hard into the 'keepers right corner. Apologies for the use of the entirely necessary brackets.
Pilli seemed to be crusing, often holding posession with a string of neat passes. The teams' wing players seemed to form a solid understanding of eachother - between both Costa and Fonseca and Treacey and Clarke - resulting in a beautiful shot from Costa only for the opposition 'keeper to pull off a stunning save to deny the wing-back his first professional career goal for Pilli (again, who won?). Not to be left out is William Clayden, who made various important saves to keep Pilli infront, namely a near post save. Unfortuanate as it is, Versitano managed to topple an opposition player in the penalty box which resulted in the games' second spot-kick, which was placed away neatly by a Magpie player against their former 'keeper.
This late penalty served as a somewhat revival for the opposition, though an unlikely draw was not to be as Pilli clinched their second win of the season (Woo hoo) after the referee blew for time. Pilli now face their own club next week in what promises to be an exciting local derby. Details are listed in the fixture panel to the right hand side.
Friday, April 23, 2010
BREAKING NEWS: Fletcher Leaves Pilli, Poulos Flees On Holiday
Incredible scenes have taken place within the past two hours as two massive blows to Pilli's title challenge were exposed for the world to see, one of which is arguably more sensational than any of William Clayden's saves...
Recent Bundonesian aquisition Daniel Fletcher has shocked the footballing world after anouncing his departure from a club he joined little over two months ago - for the very club he left. It was often rumoured Fletcher hardly attended any training sessions for Pilli and hence was being closesly monitored by staff, though no one expected any sort of club desertion to take place.
Several Pilli players were contacted to comment on the issue - all of which contained mixed emotions:
'It is obviously a big loss for the team as he was extremely level-headed with the ball at his feet, but I am looking foward to see what the team is able to produce in this loss. Fletcher wll always be considered apart of our team' - 'Keeper William Clayden
Midfield maestro and close friend of Fletcher Jacob Healey had a particularly more negative reaction, stating 'I am a very good friend of Fletcher, or at least i thougt I was. Frankly, I am outraged with the news - it was a poor and very selfish decision. Once you sign to a team you should stick with them until the end of the season. I loved Fletcher and loved the way he played but if he wants to leave like this, especially the day before a game, then fine. I truely hope that our team can pull themselves together and win the [insert expletive here] comp, just to prove him that we did have potential. I used to love him for who he was, but now I only love him because of his red hair.'
Another new aquisition in the form of Michael Treacey, concluded the statements, speaking rather non-chalantly 'To be perfectly honest, I'm not too surprised with the news. He just didn't seem to be gelling with the team.'
It seems fans will likely agree predominantely with Healey's righteous comments which mostly focus on the abruptness of the decision.
As the club battle to keep the departure from severley denting team morale another scandal reached boiling point. Pilli Striker Alex Polous has reportedely fleed the city on an unauthorised holiday with, guess who? Yep, you guessed it - his family. The striker has reportedly been unsettled at the club and often has taken time off with those people. It is alleged Poulos has many a time tried to justify his apparent lack of committment to the team by using his national heritage as an excuse (greek malaka). As a result it appears the player will not be taking part in tomorrows home game against Miranda.
Though, it appears that there is an apparent aura of positivity in amongst all the chaos - Damien Fonseca has recently been courted by Miranda Kerr over the media, who commented on his impressive bulge around the crotch area. Damien says thanks.
Recent Bundonesian aquisition Daniel Fletcher has shocked the footballing world after anouncing his departure from a club he joined little over two months ago - for the very club he left. It was often rumoured Fletcher hardly attended any training sessions for Pilli and hence was being closesly monitored by staff, though no one expected any sort of club desertion to take place.
Several Pilli players were contacted to comment on the issue - all of which contained mixed emotions:
'It is obviously a big loss for the team as he was extremely level-headed with the ball at his feet, but I am looking foward to see what the team is able to produce in this loss. Fletcher wll always be considered apart of our team' - 'Keeper William Clayden
Midfield maestro and close friend of Fletcher Jacob Healey had a particularly more negative reaction, stating 'I am a very good friend of Fletcher, or at least i thougt I was. Frankly, I am outraged with the news - it was a poor and very selfish decision. Once you sign to a team you should stick with them until the end of the season. I loved Fletcher and loved the way he played but if he wants to leave like this, especially the day before a game, then fine. I truely hope that our team can pull themselves together and win the [insert expletive here] comp, just to prove him that we did have potential. I used to love him for who he was, but now I only love him because of his red hair.'
Another new aquisition in the form of Michael Treacey, concluded the statements, speaking rather non-chalantly 'To be perfectly honest, I'm not too surprised with the news. He just didn't seem to be gelling with the team.'
It seems fans will likely agree predominantely with Healey's righteous comments which mostly focus on the abruptness of the decision.
As the club battle to keep the departure from severley denting team morale another scandal reached boiling point. Pilli Striker Alex Polous has reportedely fleed the city on an unauthorised holiday with, guess who? Yep, you guessed it - his family. The striker has reportedly been unsettled at the club and often has taken time off with those people. It is alleged Poulos has many a time tried to justify his apparent lack of committment to the team by using his national heritage as an excuse (greek malaka). As a result it appears the player will not be taking part in tomorrows home game against Miranda.
Though, it appears that there is an apparent aura of positivity in amongst all the chaos - Damien Fonseca has recently been courted by Miranda Kerr over the media, who commented on his impressive bulge around the crotch area. Damien says thanks.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Check Them Birds Out
A quick splurge on our 'sister' blog: Cronulla Seagulls U18C's, which is run by their coach and Pilli midfielder Jacob Healey. If LPFC U21's win the league they have promised to throw a party for us with alcohawl and anything else we might desire free of charge...(no gaurantee's from here). So yes, check 'em out at:
Note: Look at Jacobs photo and give him shit for it.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Ridgebacks Have Last Bark
LPFC U21's played out an entertaining two-all draw against an old foe and current league-leaders in the shape of Barden Ridge 2. A deftly placed finish from Alex Poulos and an own goal were enough to secure a potentially vital away point for the East Shire side.
Pilli's intentions were starkly obvious from kick-off - jumping head first into a game they knew held high importance. All was well until eight minutes in where, as much as it appeared Pilli were in control, a momentary lapse in concentration from the left side of defence was seized upon by Ridge. A sharp through ball was fed to the now appropriately nicknamed 'Guy who runs fast', who pounced onto the ball like Kurtis Thompson on women, placing the ball to Clayden's near post after apparent miscommunication between Fynn and his keeper, to give Ridge the opener.
Ridges' celebrations proved to be short-lived, with Pilli level within ten minutes of their opener. Now, the following goal possibly has two versions - one about Matthew Burg lofting in a spectacular corner, harnessing the almighty winds' power to guide the ball with incredible ease into the top left corner...or the one where some guy scored a goal against his own team. We will stick with the first one....So yeah, Pilli's second goal came about when Matthew Burg lofted in a spectacular corner, harnessing the almighty winds' power to guide the ball with incredible ease into the top left corner.
Not far from half time Pilli completed a move which would have produced a rather strong jealousy-related orgasm from each and every Barcelona player. Pilli spread the ball beautifully from the left wing, across the backline and then up the right wing where diminutive winger Squeak and macho man Damien Fonseca played a succession of rapid one-touch passes, only for the final through ball directed at almighty wind-controller Burg to be called offside.
All the while, Pilli suffered three successive injuries, losing lanky defender Jackson Versitano to a suspected hamstring-related injury and midfield playmakers Jacob Healey and Matthew Phipps to ankle sprains. The former of two which seemed to be less serious as the players were later subsituted back on.
The second half whistle brought about a sense of increased urgency for both squads. As the half progressed it became more apparent that Pilli were dominating an increasingly tiring Ridgeback side. Channels started to open up, which saw an increase in fluidity of Pilli's passing game, primarily around the centre of the pitch. Midfield maestro Healey showed little signs of his injury as he constantly won possession and fed his runners. Captain and winger Stephen Foldi did well along the left side - always keeping the defenders on their toes and providing crosses. Goalscorer Burg and sex symbol Fonseca developed a deep understanding of each other and hence often exchanged a few neat passes. Daniel Fletcher proved handy in his now well known ability to hold up the ball in the centre park, adding to the tidiness of Pilli's counter attack. 'Keeper Will 'Schwarzer' Clayden (yes his nickname did get worse) also pulled of a couple of great saves. Though, it was not any of these players who broke the dead lock.
Previously a quiet figure in the game, Alex Poulos emerged from the shadows to hand Pilli a well deserved lead - brushing away critisicm of the morality of having particularly crazy night out beforehand (a.k.a. strip club, getting lap dances cause he's so famous and shit). An ever present Healey fed a well-endowed Fonseca through on the wing with a pin-point pass. Fonseca then spotted a sprinting Poulos midfield, took a few strides and sent a curling ball straight to his teammate who was now on the edge of the box. With still a significant amount of work to do the forward proceeded to leave Ridge defenders in his wake and slot the ball calmly into the old onion bag (note: ESPN's soccernet presspass' Tommy 'I-want-to-punch-him-in-the-face-because-of-his-annoying-Scottish/Irish-voice' Smith). Pilli 2, Ridge 1.
The game was not over yet as Ridge began piling players up front to try and secure a point and an unlikely victory. About ten minutes from time the unthinkable happened - a long-range shot (other than that of a Pilli player) in the 21D's actually went in. There was some controversy as whether the ball went in (lol) as it shot downwards off the crossbar and onto the line. Costa received his first yellow of the season as a result, an uneccessary one at that as video replays did, unfortunate as it is, prove the ball went in (lol). So, back to square one. The last ten minutes proved to be nothing spectacular except for an odd, yet arousing (for the females) event where Fonseca was seen grating parmesan cheese on his abs in preparation for dinner.
Though it is still early on in the season Pilli will have left feeling minorly aggreived for what seemed a game they should've won. Pilli's next fixture pits them up against Miranda Magpies 1 at home at 1:20pm. Ok it's f***king 12:20am and I have uni tomorrow.
Oh, and we're going to need extra Butter Menthols for Kurtis too.
Pilli's intentions were starkly obvious from kick-off - jumping head first into a game they knew held high importance. All was well until eight minutes in where, as much as it appeared Pilli were in control, a momentary lapse in concentration from the left side of defence was seized upon by Ridge. A sharp through ball was fed to the now appropriately nicknamed 'Guy who runs fast', who pounced onto the ball like Kurtis Thompson on women, placing the ball to Clayden's near post after apparent miscommunication between Fynn and his keeper, to give Ridge the opener.
Ridges' celebrations proved to be short-lived, with Pilli level within ten minutes of their opener. Now, the following goal possibly has two versions - one about Matthew Burg lofting in a spectacular corner, harnessing the almighty winds' power to guide the ball with incredible ease into the top left corner...or the one where some guy scored a goal against his own team. We will stick with the first one....So yeah, Pilli's second goal came about when Matthew Burg lofted in a spectacular corner, harnessing the almighty winds' power to guide the ball with incredible ease into the top left corner.
Not far from half time Pilli completed a move which would have produced a rather strong jealousy-related orgasm from each and every Barcelona player. Pilli spread the ball beautifully from the left wing, across the backline and then up the right wing where diminutive winger Squeak and macho man Damien Fonseca played a succession of rapid one-touch passes, only for the final through ball directed at almighty wind-controller Burg to be called offside.
All the while, Pilli suffered three successive injuries, losing lanky defender Jackson Versitano to a suspected hamstring-related injury and midfield playmakers Jacob Healey and Matthew Phipps to ankle sprains. The former of two which seemed to be less serious as the players were later subsituted back on.
The second half whistle brought about a sense of increased urgency for both squads. As the half progressed it became more apparent that Pilli were dominating an increasingly tiring Ridgeback side. Channels started to open up, which saw an increase in fluidity of Pilli's passing game, primarily around the centre of the pitch. Midfield maestro Healey showed little signs of his injury as he constantly won possession and fed his runners. Captain and winger Stephen Foldi did well along the left side - always keeping the defenders on their toes and providing crosses. Goalscorer Burg and sex symbol Fonseca developed a deep understanding of each other and hence often exchanged a few neat passes. Daniel Fletcher proved handy in his now well known ability to hold up the ball in the centre park, adding to the tidiness of Pilli's counter attack. 'Keeper Will 'Schwarzer' Clayden (yes his nickname did get worse) also pulled of a couple of great saves. Though, it was not any of these players who broke the dead lock.
Previously a quiet figure in the game, Alex Poulos emerged from the shadows to hand Pilli a well deserved lead - brushing away critisicm of the morality of having particularly crazy night out beforehand (a.k.a. strip club, getting lap dances cause he's so famous and shit). An ever present Healey fed a well-endowed Fonseca through on the wing with a pin-point pass. Fonseca then spotted a sprinting Poulos midfield, took a few strides and sent a curling ball straight to his teammate who was now on the edge of the box. With still a significant amount of work to do the forward proceeded to leave Ridge defenders in his wake and slot the ball calmly into the old onion bag (note: ESPN's soccernet presspass' Tommy 'I-want-to-punch-him-in-the-face-because-of-his-annoying-Scottish/Irish-voice' Smith). Pilli 2, Ridge 1.
The game was not over yet as Ridge began piling players up front to try and secure a point and an unlikely victory. About ten minutes from time the unthinkable happened - a long-range shot (other than that of a Pilli player) in the 21D's actually went in. There was some controversy as whether the ball went in (lol) as it shot downwards off the crossbar and onto the line. Costa received his first yellow of the season as a result, an uneccessary one at that as video replays did, unfortunate as it is, prove the ball went in (lol). So, back to square one. The last ten minutes proved to be nothing spectacular except for an odd, yet arousing (for the females) event where Fonseca was seen grating parmesan cheese on his abs in preparation for dinner.
Though it is still early on in the season Pilli will have left feeling minorly aggreived for what seemed a game they should've won. Pilli's next fixture pits them up against Miranda Magpies 1 at home at 1:20pm. Ok it's f***king 12:20am and I have uni tomorrow.
Oh, and we're going to need extra Butter Menthols for Kurtis too.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Report: Inter-squad Rivalries Emerge
Reports have surfaced of a tiff between the defensive & attacking forces of Pilli's U21's. It is alleged that during a recent training session the squads midfield partially blamed the defence for their display, or lack of, in the 2-0 loss against the Georges River Tigers last Saturday.
Defender Daniel Costa recently confirmed reports of the occurance - 'Yes it is true that the midfield blasted the defense about last week'.
Costa then proceeded to give the midfield a 'taste of their own medicine', telling them to 'grow some balls and blame themselves' claiming that the defense 'kept the game [score] reasonable'.
It remains to be seen how the squad and coach Dan Andersson will react to Costa's rather public outburst, though rumors have surfaced that his comments have elicited a positive response from his teammates - turning the incident into a potentially friendly rivalry. Fans have also commented on how the incident simply displays the team's passion and determination to improve. Pilli U21's are scheduled to play Barden Ridgebacks tomorrow at 3:10pm at The Ridge 3.
Defender Daniel Costa recently confirmed reports of the occurance - 'Yes it is true that the midfield blasted the defense about last week'.
Costa then proceeded to give the midfield a 'taste of their own medicine', telling them to 'grow some balls and blame themselves' claiming that the defense 'kept the game [score] reasonable'.
It remains to be seen how the squad and coach Dan Andersson will react to Costa's rather public outburst, though rumors have surfaced that his comments have elicited a positive response from his teammates - turning the incident into a potentially friendly rivalry. Fans have also commented on how the incident simply displays the team's passion and determination to improve. Pilli U21's are scheduled to play Barden Ridgebacks tomorrow at 3:10pm at The Ridge 3.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Players Reveal True Emotions
In a statement issued earlier today several Pilli players shocked the world by announcing the following:
"I love Liverpool FC. They are the better team on merseyside. Better than Everton FC. Their reserve, youth and womens team are even better than that of Everton's first team." - William Clayden
"I am in agreeance with William Clayden, he will never walk alone" - Daniel Fletcher
"I am jewish, as is Tottenham" - Daniel Costa
"I believe my lengthy hair makes me more msaculine and Antonio-Banderas-like" - Jacob 'junior ronaldhino' Healey
"As of the end of this years premier league season I will not be able to participate in any conversations remotely having anything to do with the English Premier League" - Jackson Versitano
"I am Irish" - Michael Treacey
"I make good sausage sandwhices and tandoori chicken on the barbie" - Matthew Phipps
"I never had any 'family' events to go to. I just dislike the team and missed all those training sessions on purpose." - Alex Poulos
"I am a man whore" - Kurtis Thompson
"I go to UNSW, hence those that attend USYD are more superior than me" - Daniel Fynn
"I'm with Daniel Fynn on this one, but replace UNSW with UTS instead" - Paul Clarke
"Damien Fonseca is better than physics than me" - Matthew Burg
"I can handle two beers now and am currently dating the club vice presidents daughter for the sole benefit of the team" - Stephen Foldi
"The subs in my car are weak" - Daniel 'squeak' Psarras
"L3K 5Hu" - Samuel Saad
"I feel more comfortable playing with the Sutherland Titans" - Nicholas Mellios
"I love Liverpool FC. They are the better team on merseyside. Better than Everton FC. Their reserve, youth and womens team are even better than that of Everton's first team." - William Clayden
"I am in agreeance with William Clayden, he will never walk alone" - Daniel Fletcher
"I am jewish, as is Tottenham" - Daniel Costa
"I believe my lengthy hair makes me more msaculine and Antonio-Banderas-like" - Jacob 'junior ronaldhino' Healey
"As of the end of this years premier league season I will not be able to participate in any conversations remotely having anything to do with the English Premier League" - Jackson Versitano
"I am Irish" - Michael Treacey
"I make good sausage sandwhices and tandoori chicken on the barbie" - Matthew Phipps
"I never had any 'family' events to go to. I just dislike the team and missed all those training sessions on purpose." - Alex Poulos
"I am a man whore" - Kurtis Thompson
"I go to UNSW, hence those that attend USYD are more superior than me" - Daniel Fynn
"I'm with Daniel Fynn on this one, but replace UNSW with UTS instead" - Paul Clarke
"Damien Fonseca is better than physics than me" - Matthew Burg
"I can handle two beers now and am currently dating the club vice presidents daughter for the sole benefit of the team" - Stephen Foldi
"The subs in my car are weak" - Daniel 'squeak' Psarras
"L3K 5Hu" - Samuel Saad
"I feel more comfortable playing with the Sutherland Titans" - Nicholas Mellios
Tigers Two Good for Stunned Berries
On a day where the mercury leant closer to summer rather than autumn, Pilli's U21's tasted defeat for only the second time in over 20 matches against a fierce Tigers side, losing 2-0.
Fresh from a convincing 3-1 win the previous match, it seemed Pilli were expecting an easy win in front of a near full capacity Berrie Dome (30 people). It was this complacency which set the stage for an energetic Tiger's performance.
The first half began poorly as both teams struggled to find their respective rhythms - with the ball being tossed around as loosely as...
As the half progressed both teams lifted and let fly a few shots on goal, only one of which really tested Clayden who pulled of a fine diving save to tip the ball around the post. The first real chance of the match came when Pilli striker Alex Poulos was threaded through by a perfectly weighted Healey pass, only to scuff his shot wide; albeit off the post...(or off Disco Stu's [their 'keeper] massive afro). The days' heat then began taking its toll on both teams, though it appeared more evident in Pilli's players - the Tigers retaining their suprising aggressivness and hunger for the ball as the whistle blew for half time.
The second half proved to be Pilli's downfall as they conceded the only two goals of the match (wtf). It soon became apparent the squads defence lacked their usual sturdiness as the midfield became guilty of not falling back to support their teamates. Both goals were due to poor defending and were close to impossible to save, even for Pilli's acrobatic Will 'Pepe Reina' Clayden.
Pilli winger/defender Michael Treacey played well throughout the game, earning the man of the match award (rub 'n' tug massage voiucher) for his efforts, and for filling in for the absent Jackson Versitano. Centre back Kurtis Thompson also fought well, making a few critical interceptions, while Poulos was unlucky after striking the post twice and almost a third time. Healey yet again impressed, making various darting runs - only to fall short of the final turn. Fonseca's (this guy is one to look out for ladies, tall, slim, dark and certainly handsome [just facebook me]) aggression and commitment showed heart while centre mid Matthew Phipps again continued his position as playmaker with a solid performance.
Although the match can still be seen as an unlucky loss for Pilli, it should also should be maintained as an eye opener as to the standard of this years competition. A massive fixture up against competition leaders Barden Ridge follows next week, (trek), a match where Pilli will be sure to head in with an appropriate attitude and determination.
Fresh from a convincing 3-1 win the previous match, it seemed Pilli were expecting an easy win in front of a near full capacity Berrie Dome (30 people). It was this complacency which set the stage for an energetic Tiger's performance.
The first half began poorly as both teams struggled to find their respective rhythms - with the ball being tossed around as loosely as...
As the half progressed both teams lifted and let fly a few shots on goal, only one of which really tested Clayden who pulled of a fine diving save to tip the ball around the post. The first real chance of the match came when Pilli striker Alex Poulos was threaded through by a perfectly weighted Healey pass, only to scuff his shot wide; albeit off the post...(or off Disco Stu's [their 'keeper] massive afro). The days' heat then began taking its toll on both teams, though it appeared more evident in Pilli's players - the Tigers retaining their suprising aggressivness and hunger for the ball as the whistle blew for half time.
The second half proved to be Pilli's downfall as they conceded the only two goals of the match (wtf). It soon became apparent the squads defence lacked their usual sturdiness as the midfield became guilty of not falling back to support their teamates. Both goals were due to poor defending and were close to impossible to save, even for Pilli's acrobatic Will 'Pepe Reina' Clayden.
Pilli winger/defender Michael Treacey played well throughout the game, earning the man of the match award (rub 'n' tug massage voiucher) for his efforts, and for filling in for the absent Jackson Versitano. Centre back Kurtis Thompson also fought well, making a few critical interceptions, while Poulos was unlucky after striking the post twice and almost a third time. Healey yet again impressed, making various darting runs - only to fall short of the final turn. Fonseca's (this guy is one to look out for ladies, tall, slim, dark and certainly handsome [just facebook me]) aggression and commitment showed heart while centre mid Matthew Phipps again continued his position as playmaker with a solid performance.
Although the match can still be seen as an unlucky loss for Pilli, it should also should be maintained as an eye opener as to the standard of this years competition. A massive fixture up against competition leaders Barden Ridge follows next week, (trek), a match where Pilli will be sure to head in with an appropriate attitude and determination.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Pilli Fart-On Marton
Two sublime goals from Jacob Healey & Squeak Psarras, in addition to an own goal from some guy, were enough to see LPFC 21's run off with a comfortable 3 - 1 victory at Kingswood park on a particularly warm saturday afternoon. The win provided an excellent boost of morale after the squads dissapointing trial match loss the previous week against the Bundeena Breakers.
The match began at a frantic pace with Pilli moving the ball around well, and it was no suprise the first goal came early on (much like kurtis [had to have a go at you kurt, you never bought that slab]). Healey played a beautiful one-two with last seasons' top goalscorer Alex Poulos, before taking a few controlled touches and placing the ball neatly into the keepers far top corner - a strike worthy of it's title as 'season opener' and not to mention Healey's first goal for the team.
As the half progressed Marton began working their way back from the brink - possibly due to a sense of complacency creeping into Pilli's game. It wasn't long until the Hammers drew level. Some guy kicked the ball to some other guy who then fluked it past Clayden. The sides remained one a piece for the rest of the half.
A seemingly revitalised Pilli side returned to the field, though it was not them who pulled the scoreline in their favour. Some guy tried to clear the ball and he put it into his own net. Lol.
Even though infront, Pilli continued to press the Hammers - who to their credit provided LPFC with a fair share of scares, but we won so who cares.
The matches final goal was a wonderous one. Pilli's little man Squeak deftly weaved his way through four opposition players, tucking the ball away ever so clamly to the keepers left - capping off a confident Pilli showing.
After an efficient perfromance, Pilli staff and players will need to ensure complacency does not settle within the squad for next weeks match against Georges River Tigers at the Berrie Dome. And can someone please remember to bring Will strepsils for his throat next time...
The match began at a frantic pace with Pilli moving the ball around well, and it was no suprise the first goal came early on (much like kurtis [had to have a go at you kurt, you never bought that slab]). Healey played a beautiful one-two with last seasons' top goalscorer Alex Poulos, before taking a few controlled touches and placing the ball neatly into the keepers far top corner - a strike worthy of it's title as 'season opener' and not to mention Healey's first goal for the team.
As the half progressed Marton began working their way back from the brink - possibly due to a sense of complacency creeping into Pilli's game. It wasn't long until the Hammers drew level. Some guy kicked the ball to some other guy who then fluked it past Clayden. The sides remained one a piece for the rest of the half.
A seemingly revitalised Pilli side returned to the field, though it was not them who pulled the scoreline in their favour. Some guy tried to clear the ball and he put it into his own net. Lol.
Even though infront, Pilli continued to press the Hammers - who to their credit provided LPFC with a fair share of scares, but we won so who cares.
The matches final goal was a wonderous one. Pilli's little man Squeak deftly weaved his way through four opposition players, tucking the ball away ever so clamly to the keepers left - capping off a confident Pilli showing.
After an efficient perfromance, Pilli staff and players will need to ensure complacency does not settle within the squad for next weeks match against Georges River Tigers at the Berrie Dome. And can someone please remember to bring Will strepsils for his throat next time...
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Squeaky Clean History Tarnished As Dirty Past is Revealed
In what appears to be the start (and spark) of major controversy, a video clip has emerged which allegedly portrays newly signed LPFC recruit Daniel Costa and current team mate Squeak Psarras in a physical altercation. It is not yet known whether the feud erupted into anything further but it is confirmed that the incident occurred over a year ago – which raises questions as to whether this year’s squad can work together effectively.
Unsurprisingly, Costa will become the focus of media attention for the off-field drama due to his new-boy status. The Pilli Blog recently received a phone call from an anonymous inside source who explained - ‘the team dynamics worked perfectly before Daniel arrived, but now everything seems like its going down hill. Personally I would compare it to the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. I would even go so far as to say that Armageddon is coming.’
While it appears Psarras and Costa have reconciled – working well during recent training sessions - the videos resurrection may possibly rekindle the flames of a past inferno. It remains to be seen how the players will react to this potentially disastrous threat to the squads 2010 season ambitions.
To watch a clip of the massive brawl copy the following URL:
http://i442.photobucket.com/albums/qq148/qurked8/SqueakVSCosta2.gif
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
OFFICIAL: Costa, Fletcher, Versitano put pen to paper
Lilli Pilli FC U21's have wrapped up their summer transfer spending with a significant coup of three players - an established Scotsman, Fletcher, and two highly-rated youngsters - Daniel Costa and Jackson Versitano. Fans will be delighted to hear of the new signings after months of tedious negotiations - reportedly during which Fletcher almost defected to an unknown team. Details remain hazy as to how much the signings have cost the club, but reports from News of the World and The Sun suggest Fletcher was recruited via the Bosman Ruling after his fomer club, Bundeena Mainbar, refused to let the player leave, while Costa and Versitano where brought over for a hefty combined fee of £13.5 million pounds + Nicholas Mellios.
Currrently, there have been no official comments from the players agents or the players themselves, though LPFC's official website has confirmed the aquisitions - 'We are delighted to welcome the likes of Daniel Fletcher, Daniel Costa and Jackson Versitano to our club.'
While fans are expected to welcome the signings with open arms, questions remain as to how the current squad will adapt and reshuffle to accomodate the new members.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Rai-muny Sutton
Former Pilli star and Berrie Dome favourite Raimundo Sutton has stated his reasons for his departure - some of which may upset fans of his former club. When questioned about the move, Sutton replied 'Well first of all - money was a major deciding factor - I honestly felt I was being grossly underpaid for a player of my calibre. Secondly, I didn't like claydons attitude - quite frankly it was ridiculous. He was always in a comittment battle between his beloved work (McDonalds) and the team. I don't know how the other players put up with him'
As of how Sutton felt with the threat of this years newest team members, he replied with a sly smile 'what threat?'. It is now up to the new transfers to prove Sutton wrong.
As of how Sutton felt with the threat of this years newest team members, he replied with a sly smile 'what threat?'. It is now up to the new transfers to prove Sutton wrong.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Report - LPFC to swoop for international threesome?
Reported by Rob Bairner
Scottish midfielder Daniel Fletcher, Ivorian defender Daniel John-Costa and young Icelandic prospect Jackson Versitano have all been linked with Pilli U21’s – not to mention a whole cluster of other Shire clubs. Inevitably, reports that a deal has been struck with Pilli for the much-rated threesome, have surfaced and it is rumored all that is missing are the player's signatures.
According to News of the World, the players could make the switch to the Berrie Dome in the coming days, with LPFC officials remaining silent when questioned about any additional transfers in the works.
“We can do it, but only if it makes sense to us, and to the three players,” Coach Dan Anderrson is quoted as having said to the publication.
Former LPFC star and now turned Magpies player Raimundo Sutton added positive comments when questioned over his potential successors, explaining, “If Lilli Pilli are smart, they would invest in such young and rare talent.”
Another possible reason for the move is the fact that, sadly, Chilean ace Damien Fonseca has previously found gaining match fitness to be a headache – constantly battling injury. Hence a short term solution in the form of Fletcher had cropped up – as the player is known for his box-to-box move ability, making a move for the Scottish talent tempting.
Having seen a move for Brazilian forward Vagner Love fall through, Lilli Pilli would certainly seem to have the funds available for the proposed transfers. They face competition primarily from England based clubs Accrington Stanley, Morecambe United, Fulham and Ipswich – who are all keen to sign wing-back John-Costa after his impressive campaign at the African Cup of nations for Ivory Coast. It would seem a deal is in place, and only the players signatures are required to make the move official. Which will be reported first and...only...on here – 'The Pilli Blog' - your premium LPFC blog.
Scottish midfielder Daniel Fletcher, Ivorian defender Daniel John-Costa and young Icelandic prospect Jackson Versitano have all been linked with Pilli U21’s – not to mention a whole cluster of other Shire clubs. Inevitably, reports that a deal has been struck with Pilli for the much-rated threesome, have surfaced and it is rumored all that is missing are the player's signatures.
According to News of the World, the players could make the switch to the Berrie Dome in the coming days, with LPFC officials remaining silent when questioned about any additional transfers in the works.
“We can do it, but only if it makes sense to us, and to the three players,” Coach Dan Anderrson is quoted as having said to the publication.
Former LPFC star and now turned Magpies player Raimundo Sutton added positive comments when questioned over his potential successors, explaining, “If Lilli Pilli are smart, they would invest in such young and rare talent.”
Another possible reason for the move is the fact that, sadly, Chilean ace Damien Fonseca has previously found gaining match fitness to be a headache – constantly battling injury. Hence a short term solution in the form of Fletcher had cropped up – as the player is known for his box-to-box move ability, making a move for the Scottish talent tempting.
Having seen a move for Brazilian forward Vagner Love fall through, Lilli Pilli would certainly seem to have the funds available for the proposed transfers. They face competition primarily from England based clubs Accrington Stanley, Morecambe United, Fulham and Ipswich – who are all keen to sign wing-back John-Costa after his impressive campaign at the African Cup of nations for Ivory Coast. It would seem a deal is in place, and only the players signatures are required to make the move official. Which will be reported first and...only...on here – 'The Pilli Blog' - your premium LPFC blog.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
OFFICIAL: Healey signs for U21's
Pilli U21's have have made the swoop for long-haired, self-proclaimed 'word class' pretty boy midfielder Jacob Healey - a move which is likely to boost shirt sales significantly. The deal, said to be worth over £25 000 000, ties the central midfielder to the squad for 2 years, making the step down from a higher league. The 165cm tall player is a massive aquisition for the squad as said today by the player himself 'honestly...I think I'm quite the catch...like, who wouldn't want me on the team?'. Healey went on to describe what fans should expect to see from him this season - 'although the fans are not just at the games to see myself perform (laughs sarcastically) I aim to excite them with some classy footwork and maybe even a few long range goals. I will do my best to play to the best of my abililty each and every week.'
Unsurprsingly, there have been reports that some fans are disgruntled at the move, arguing that it may cause a disruption in the harmony of the squad by having such a player. However, Healey's other comments have suggested slightly otherwise - 'coming into the team I was nervous of how current players would react. Though, the warm welcome of each and every player boosted my confidence in training. I look forward to playing with this team and playing alongside three new superstars.'
It remains to be seen which side of fans will prove to be correct.
OFFICIAL: Treacy swaps Daniella Street for Berrie Dome
Highly-rated young attacker Michael Treacy has signed a 3-year contract with Lilli Pilli U21's for a rumored £4 000 000. The deal comes after an alleged year-long discussion between the rival clubs and is sure to excite Pilli fans. Treacy, once thought to be a through-and-through Rebacks player has made the switch with a strong sense of optimism and has expressed his delight on joining such a succesful squad - 'I'm just happy to be part of the team and feel its a real step forward in my career'.
When asked about competition for his position Treacy responded diplomatically - 'Look, my preferred position is in attack but I have no problem with playing as a utility for the team - I will put 110% into everything I do and will try as hard as i can (110%) not to let our fans down'. Admirable words from a small man.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Transfer Update!
A number of last seasons squad members have departed. These include:
- Raymundo Sutton (Miranda Magpies, £10 000 000)
- Samuel Saad (Miranda Magpies, undisclosed)
- Mark Anderrson (Sheffield Wednesday, £7 000 000 + clauses)
- Simon Brady (Australian Defence Force, loan)
- Nicholas Mellios (retired)
While it is defintely saddening to lose last years premiership winning goalscorer, Lebanese U20 international, team captain, team clicker/smartass and...Nick, the teams manager is certain to bring in a number of fresh faces.
Potential incoming transfer candidates include relative unknown 'hot prospects' such as Daniel Costa and Jackson Versitano, aswell as well established stars such as Daniel Fletcher, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Rivaldo and Jacob Healey - though nothing is yet certain.
Any confirmed transfers will be directly reported on here, your number 1 blog (2-years running) - the Pilli blog.
Return of The Blog
Welcome one, welcome all to te return of the now infamous 'Lilli Pilli Blog'. Over the past six months, after the unfortunate closure of this web space, alot of movement in regards to the team - has occurred. All the while, last years premiership winning squad has retained much of its quality and enthusiasm - readying themselves for a new year with it a new challenge. From this we begin our potentially successful journey through a new and exciting season as Lilli Pilli FC U21's...
P.S. Will Clayden is still playing goalkeeper, meaning he is not on the field. Phew.
P.S. Will Clayden is still playing goalkeeper, meaning he is not on the field. Phew.
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